When We're All Used Up

Chapter 9: Recovery

I wake up in a hospital bed, I look around, I'm still in Vietnam, which I can tell by the Vietnamese all over the place, I don't know the language, but I know how it looks. I watch as Nails walks into my room and sits on my bed. "Well kid, there's not much they could do for you here is Saigon. They just cleaned the wound, they're going to send you back to the good old U.S.A so you can get good care.", Nails explains to me. I go to back to sleep, knowing that I will come back as soon as possible.

A doctor wakes me up and speaks to me in Vietnamese, a translator beside him translates for him, "Chúng tôi đã có thể làm sạch chân và chân của bạn, đảm bảo rằng nó không bị nhiễm trùng, nhưng chúng tôi không thể làm gì nhiều ở đây nữa.", the doctor says. "He said, we were able to clean your leg and leg, making sure that it wasn't infected, but there's not much we can do here anymore.", the translator says. "Tell him I thank him for his help in making sure my leg and arm are good.", I tell the translator. "Anh ấy nói cảm ơn vì đã chăm sóc bác sĩ cánh tay và chân của anh ấy.", the translator says. I have no clue what that means but I guess it's something like 'He says thank you for the help doctor', or something similar. "Get ready, you're going to leave soon. You've got work to do on those legs.", the translator says as he walks away. I get up on one leg and put on some clothes, making sure my shot leg doesn't touch anything. I then lay back down and rest as I wait.

A nurse comes and puts we in a wheelchair, she rolls me out and puts me in a bus, one similar as the one I came in. They take me to an Air Force base and load me into a C-47 aircraft and in a pinch we're headed to the U.S, I mostly just sleep the ride through.

They drop me off in an Air Force base in Fort Worth, I leave and wait outside. I call a taxi and they stop nearby. I get in and give the driver my address. I fall asleep on the ride because there's gonna be my a lot I need to talk with my mom about.

Before long, I arrive at my house, the brick exterior holds up a tiled roof. "That's going to be 40 dollars, I give him some money I had stashed in my bag that was probably 50 dollars. I get out of the taxi and head for the sidewalk. I walk up the path and reach the door. I make shire I look alright and knock on the door. "POR LA ÚLTIMA VEZ, NO QUIERO COMPRAR LO QUE ESTÁS VENDIENDO!", 'FOR THE LAST TIME, I DON'T WANT TO BUY WHAT YOU'RE SELLING.", my mom yells. I missed her, a lot. "Ma...soy yo...ya regresé", 'Ma...it's me...I returned", I say. I hear her run towards the door, she slams it wide open and gives me a massive hug. "Pensé que no ibas a regresar...", 'I thought that you wouldn't return...', she says, almost crying. It hurts me deep down, the fact that my mom, the woman I hid behind my whole life, was clinging onto me for dear life. It cuts deep, deep, down. I hug her and pat her back, I almost cry too. She stands back and looks at me. She looks at my crutches and legs. "Que te pasó!?", 'what happened to you!?', she says, horrified by the bandages on my legs. "Solo fue un accidente muy pequeño, no te preocupes.", 'It was just very small accident, don't worry yourself' I explain to her, I don't want to worry her with the fact that it was actually a serious gunshot wound. My mom grabs my left arm and starts walking me in, I look around and see the house just as I left it. The couch is still in the exact same spot as when I was last here, right on the back wall with the TV right in front of it. I place my bag down on the 3 seat brown leather couch. "Me voy a dormir, llama me si me necesitas.", 'I'm going to sleep, call me if you need me.', I say as I head up to the other, longer, couch to the left of the smaller couch. I stretch both my legs out, finally taking an actually comfortable nap. It feels surreal, but wrong. There's no arguing, no sports talk, no Anti-Vietnam music from Kitty's small, humble radio. It just feels wrong to do this. Be here, comfortable, while other people are fighting. I belong with them, I belong in the fight. I belong there in Vietnam. The Vietnam War is my home, the Marine Corps is my family, and Lyndon B. Is my father. I feel a fire roar inside of me. A flame that cannot be contained. I see Ray's face, and Kitty's face. I wake up immediately and try to walk. It's excruciating, the pain is unbearable. But I take a step, then another one, then another one, and I walk. It hurts like hell. And without thinking I yell, "FUCKING BITCH!". I hush up... my mom looks at me from around the corner of the kitchen. She sighs, long and thick. "Eres un adulto, que puedo hacer.", 'You're an adult now, what can I do?', she says, looking and sounding defeated. It hurts me more than anything before, in her mind, her sweet, loving, and gentle boy comes home from a traumatizing war and he has changed, a lot. It kills me. I walk to my room because I can't bear it, the pain I feel from my leg is nothing compared to the pain in my heart. I look at my room, the room is exactly the same, the movie and band posters are on the walls, there's one difference though, my favorite home clothes are on my bed, under the blanket, where I would be. It hurts me even more. I start crying, silently, but I do. I try to not because boys don't cry. But it's all too much, if my marine self can't take it, I couldn't begin to imagine how much my mom hurt. I take off my shirt and undershirt and put the graphic tee on, I look at Superman, he's in his famous flying stance, humble and strong as ever. I take off my pants and put on the honestly tiny, at least compared to what I've seen, blue shorts. I walk out, my leg still hurting. I walk over to my mom and look at her, she runs over to me and gives me a massive hug, I feel her crying even more, this time on my shirt. I pat her back again and kiss her cheek. "Te amo, nunca te lo olvides...por favor", 'I love you, never forget that...please', she says, it embarrasses me a little but I don't care. "Ya se ma, y yo te amo también.", 'I already know, and I love you too.", I respond quietly and truthfully. I look forward at the wall and pause for a bit until she lets go. I pull away and sit down on the couch, I fall asleep sitting down. This time, it feels right. Thanks for the opportunity Lyndon B., thank you and I'll be back.

[Thank you for reading. I love and appreciate you all]