A Terrible Ending (on hold)

Chapter 6- High

Authors note:  Ok so for the beginning of this chapter I kind of pictured the song 'Bleed' by Hot Chelle Rae but towards the end in my head I kind of transitioned to 'Breaking the Habit' by Linkin Park. Don't care? aww ok *sad face*

anyway I wanna thank all you amazing people for reading and also for those of you have fanned me. Gosh I feel so speacil and blessed. because even with the few of you reading and re-reading my story it never ceases to amaze me that you guys actually like it. 

Thank you 

(Sorry for any mistakes)

Chapter 6

"It's been home long enough Matilda" My father explains to me as I sit on the stool in the kitchen. "you've recovered from your physical injuries though I understand it'll be harder to forget... It's time you get back on track. Your brother already said he will be with you as much as he can. Just please make sure you're with someone at all times, ok? You can go back to school tomorrow." and I nod, smiling. 

I see my mothers eyes grow worried but my father plows on about 'catching up' and 'living a normal life'. I just continue to nod, too high to really care. My body burning as desire courses through me, craving and wanting Lucas to set me free. 

"Is that clear?" he finishes and I nod one last time before going to my room. Why was Lucas taking so long to get home? I make my way to my window sill where a seat connects to it, happy with the little stash of pink pills at my dresser draw, popping them when the high began to fade. 

Yes I needed this high. I knew I did because everytime I thought the high was ebbing I could feel the disgust with myself. I could feel the pain and shame. The guilt of my slutty twisted decsion, just like Simon said. I am almost numb from this drug. 

Simon's words were true. Even more so when he saw me in the window but I've been seeing him alot lately. In my dreams, in my room, even in my house as I walked. When I see him I'm not afraid to admit how I feel. But all it is is illusions. I know he wouldn't want me anymore. I'm defiled.

Like now I see Simon knowing that none of it is real. He stares up at me with that immeasurable expression, his blue eyes seeing through me, and I smile because I don't want this illuision to end. I don't want to not see him anymore. His figure come closer, his dimpled smile spreading across his face, and I sigh in love. Then just like that he's gone and I bury my face in my palms knowing I can't cry but kind of wishing I could. 

"Matty?" a voice whispers and his silhouette is there at my window. Those blue eyes so close. He climbs in just like all those times before, all those amazing memories of when we were kids . When he would sneak in because he couldn't fathomn anyone 'keeping best friends apart'. 

"Are you real?" I ask as he steps all the way in and sits across from me.

"Matty" he breathes and we fling into eachother, holding eachother soo tightly, like either of us will wake up and the other won't be there. I can feel tears splash against my hair, unto my shoulder, My own eyes prickling from the tears that won't flow.

"Matty I've missed you." comes his muffled voice. "I'm sorry about what I said. I'm soo sorry." I smile then, not caring about those words because he's real an in my arms. 

"You've already been forgiven" and I press him closer, smelling his skin, arousal churning but I try to push it away as I lean back.

"Simon..." I start before touching my lips with his.

****

I push her away.

How could I take advantage of her like this.