ABANDON

Chapter 41 -- Loss and Understanding

    Holding Evan close, Jane sought Miriam out.  She found her with an older girl of about sixteen years, white scars on her neck, obviously her daughter.  "Miriam, I have to talk to you."

    Miriam held out her hands in gratitude.  "You have Evan!"  Miriam put a hand on her daughter and a hand on Evan.  "Miien and Evan.  Both my children—safe."  The words sounded like sunshine.

    "Is he gone?"  Miien asked.

    Tanna suddenly appeared.  "Is it true?!"

    "Seehoiah is gone."  Jane answered, trying to sound happy.  But she wasn't happy, she was afraid.  The fear came out of her like black tentacles, reaching out, searching.  Tying knots with the fear coming from everyone else.  We are all in this net together, Jane thought, and it was bitter and comforting. 

    "How? Did they kill him?  You know what they say!  We are doomed!"

    Jane stopped her before Tanna flew into a frenzy.  "No, he fled unscathed."

    "Why did he come?  If only to turn and flee?"  Miriam cried.  Her eyes searched the room for threat, even as she spoke, still terrified. Expecting that at any moment Seehoiah might jump from the shadows and take them.

    "Evan's smile, the one you said you never forget.  When have you seen them? I need to know."

    Miriam looked at Evan who was still clinging tightly to Jane, then looked around vacantly.  The recent experience combined with her distress over her children was enough to force all rational thought from her. Or perhaps it was about protection.  Jane didn't know.

    "Are we allowed to return to the main cave?"  Aatann asked.

    "I don't know."  Jane said.

    "Seehoiah will return."  Miien answered.  This brought a wave of spoken emotions, filling the area, choking rational thought, and drowning hope.

    "Miriam." The commanding tone of Jane's voice brought Miriam out of the confusion around her.  "I need to understand.  Tell me when you saw Evan smile."

    "Once when we were with Tannak's group, the group John and I were born into."  Miriam's eyes searched the cave.  "The day Kallen died,  Miien's father... Kallen."  Miriam covered her face with her hands.

    "How did he die?  Miriam did Seehoiah take him?  I'm sorry if it hurts, but please, this is important."

    Miriam stood straighter, her hands dropped to her sides, she leaned towards Jane.  "Evan had run away.  I followed him.  He left our home, wandered the sands, we found his footprints before the winds took them.  Miien and I, we found him.  I thought he hated me."  Miriam reached out her hand to Evan's head.  Evan flinched when she touched him. "He smiled on the way home.  It gave me such hope.  He was smiling.  I thought he loved me."

    "And when you got back."

    "What do you think Jane?  What did we find?"  Miriam was angry.

    Jane nodded.  "And the second time.  Tell me of the second time.  Please Miriam."

    Miriam looked down at Evan.  Her words came out hard and bitter.  "We joined with Josel's group.  Months passed before...  Evan ran away again.  Miien and I, we followed him and I saw him smile."  Miriam closed her eyes, softened she said, "The same beautiful smile." Miriam smiled then, a strange painful smile as she remembered.  She opened her eyes. "Seehoiah took them too."  The hard words dripped into painful silence, and that was when Miriam understood. She went wide eyed and her hair seemed to fly out around her in stiff, wild tufts.  Jane had never seen such a painful stare as Miriam fixed on Evan.  "He brought him!  He brought Seehoiah!"