ABANDON

Chapter 52 -- Captain

On her way to the hangar, Jane stopped in the room with the monster's hoard and found mother there. The creature turned to look at Jane, who was instantly filled with memories. Jane was overcome by sadness, but it didn't take her, she had felt sadness like this before.

Jane put words to the emotion. "You can't stop them, can you?" She stood in front of Mother. "Your children, these are your sunshine. The light of a mother who never saw light."

Jane could feel the weight of responsibility, and the acute feeling of loss and failure. "You are not a failure. There are some roads that will always end badly. But life is not supposed to be a constant road of good, life is everything. And that is what you have, everything. So many open opportunities to change and grow. To be more than what they designed you to be. You are free."

This statement made Jane remember something else, a promise made to herself. She was going back to Earth, she was going to face her messed up past. It had gnawed away at her, confused her and focused her at times, yet always the truth was there. She could not stay here, she had to go back. Jane tried to communicate this by remembering the door she had opened for Mother. She tried to explain through the images that she had her own door to unlock and move through.

Mother was still for a moment, then a long leg reached out to Jane and, with her vaguely human hand, she pushed Jane's shoulder. Mother was so strong Jane fell to the floor and then looked up with wide hurt eyes. But then Jane's eyes changed to show understanding. "That's what Josh did to me. When we were talking and the words came out wrong and awkward and then he did that to me. It was his way to show he understood. Memories are your words. Even memories that are not your own." Mother liked this memory of Jane's. It spoke of freedom, freedom to be who you are, do what you feel must be done, and go where you must go.

"Thank you." Jane said, and if these words had arms they would have hugged Mother.

Jane's mind was filled with an image of an oxygen tank and mask from one of the soldiers, perhaps Faringoth, or Callivar. Take it, was the command spoken in disjointed memory, go, and let me see what feeds my body. What has only ever been given to me artificially. What I could not give to my children. Let us finally feel that warmth on our skin. That brightness in our eyes. Let us finally see the sun.

Jane didn't have to search the room, the image given to her was such that she walked directly to where the tank lie. She slung it over her shoulder and then went back to Mother.

Jane moved in close and held out her hand horizontally, palm up. Mother brought up one of her long legs. She put her five digit hand into a point and then gently placed the point in the center of Jane's hand. She briefly touched it and then pulled her hand away, like she was planting a seed. Jane looked into her hand and saw the black swirl of the bite.

"Mother," Jane said, "We are both born of the other Jane. Akiim. We are sisters, you and I." The long leg gently wiped the tear from Jane's cheek.

Gray dust spewed out from behind the ancient car. The dust trail grasped the hand of thick haze already present, joining together in a pirouette that twirled away. It felt good to drive, some things just make sense. Her only regret was not being able to fulfill a promise made to Harris to have him beside her.

She took a deep breath from the oxygen tank. Jane could feel the air grabbing at her, prying, trying to take whatever resources her body had. Mercilessly intruding... Jane could barely see the front of the car. But she could already see the wreckage of the Holiday through the eyes of the monsters. Something peculiar had happened there. A bubble had formed over the impact crater, similar to the bubble that had pressed into the transport door, only this one was ballooning out instead of in. The shield could not descend into that pit, at least not yet.