Chapter Seventeen

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"So, let me get this straight," Claire mumbled through a mouthful of her doughnut. "He went in to kiss you, and you bitched out?"

I sighed, stirring the now cold cup of tea that sat in front of me. I had replayed last night in my head so many times it felt like I had been living the same day for years. I could still see his surprised face when I had avoided his kiss, and wrapped my arms around him instead. He didn't reject my hug, which I suppose was a good thing, but I couldn't help but feel like I had sent him the wrong message.

"I just, I don't know, Claire. I totally screwed up," I groaned.

"Oh, it's not that bad. I mean, maybe he'll just think you're all cute and innocent and find that kind of thing really sexy," she shrugged, before pulling her scarf tighter around her neck.

It was an especially cold Saturday morning, the coming winter evident on the dewy grass and foggy morning mist. Thankfully today I had prepared for the weather, and was quite cosy in my skinny jeans and thick, black woollen jumper. Claire, on the other hand, always cared more about appearance than comfort. She said she wasn't cold, with her navy blue t-shirt dress and extremely thick woollen scarf, but I could see the goose bumps travel all the way down her legs before vanishing is her ankle boots.

"So, you don't think he'll hate me?" I asked.

"I highly doubt it, Candy," she said as she spooned the left over doughnut crumbs into her mouth. "I mean, yeah you rejected him, but I don't think he's that heart broken about it. I'm sure he'll get to kiss you soon enough anyway."

I rolled my eyes, "it's not like we have to rush it or anything."

"Are you scared because you've never made out with a boy before?" she asked. She looked up then, and saw the look on my face. "Oh my god, you are!"

"Oh come on, is it really that bad that I am? I just want it to turn out perfectly."

"Well that's not going to happen," She laughed. "First kisses are never perfect; don't trust the books you read or the movies you watch, okay? First kisses are supposed to be fun and awkward and you shouldn't make a big deal out of them. Just start off slow, and let your lover lead the way."

"But if he's never kissed before either, well I don't know, it will just work out," she added with a shrug.

My phone buzzed then, thankfully, interrupting Claire as she began to go into great detail on 'the art of kissing'. My heart skipped a beat, and although I highly doubted he would want to talk to me, I wanted it to be Jase. It wasn't, which didn't surprise me. The message was actually from Ryan. I hadn't really spoken to him much since the other day in art class, so the message was quite unexpected.

'Hey Candice, can you meet me at the abandoned apartment in fifteen? It's important.'

"Has he forgiven you already? God, he must be really into you," Claire, who had clearly been watching me staring at my phone, smiled. I hadn't even noticed that she had stopped talking, but was thankful that she had.

"No," I sighed. "It's not Jase."

"Then who is it? Your mum?" She asked, impatiently. Though it was really none of her business who I was talking to, I felt like if I tried to keep it a secret, then it meant there was something to hide. There was nothing going on with Ryan and I that I needed to be messaging him in secret.

"No, it's Ryan." I glanced up at her, waiting to see what her reaction was. I had briefly told her about Ryan, but I was still unsure how she felt towards him.

"I don't know how I feel about this Ryan boy," she said through squinted eyes.

"You said he was hot the other day," I laughed.

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