Within The Trees

Reunion

Ronan? What could he possibly mean? My brow furrowed at his question, "What could we possibly talk about when it comes to the man who lied to me? The man that I believed was my true father. The man I trusted to no end!" As I ranted, I could feel the bile rise in my throat. I hadn't realized just how angry I was at him until now. Moreover, I didn't quite take into account the slight change in Zarae'l's demeanor. He rose his hand, halting my torrent of accusations and snapped back, "Do not speak ill of Ronan, do you understand?" The sudden intensity of his tone grounded me, making me halt in my anger and silence me. He continued, "Ronan was one of my most dearest and trusted friends, who exceeded my expectations. I entrusted him with one of the most important things in my life, you." He took my hands in his, the bite in his eyes ebbing away as he continued, "He raised you to be more than I could ever hope. Shakira, you are strong and compassionate. I have watched you from afar and seen how the simplest things bring a smile upon your face. Yet, I understand your anger. You were lead to believe he was your blood, and in a way the bond you grew will always be there despite all of this."

I listened to him so carefully, because at the end of the day he was right. Despite my anger towards the situation in which I was dealt, Ronan was by far in my eyes, my father. He was and still is the anchor that calms my very soul. Except, why lie? Why couldn't he have just told me the truth? As this question formulated I found myself asking, "Was our bond not strong enough for him to just tell me the truth? He was there for me so much, and we talked about so many things but the one fact that would impact me the most; he never cared to share..." My eyes wandered to the tile floor as I began to doubt just how close we were.

As I started to dwell upon the thought, Zarae'l placed his index finger beneath my chin and lifted my head so that I was looking deep into his eyes. "Do not second guess how close you two were. I specifically instructed that you be kept in the dark. The only thing I wanted you to focus on was honing your Wolf as well as your powers. Unfortunately, he never got that far..." The sadness that filled his eyes when the last statement escaped, caused my chest to tighten again; only this time my father's pain was the cause. That statement alone caused my mind to wander back to the dreadful day of Ronan's death and the blackout that followed it.

While I had become consumed by that horrible memory, Zarae'l had lead me down the corridor to a room filled with various assortments of flowers and ivy. The mere scent tickled my nose and brought me out of my head to the present. He sat me down on a stone bench and then filled the spot beside me. "Do you remember what happened the day Ronan was killed? To the full extent." He inquired with a careful tone. His inquiry caused me an inappropriate snort that I quickly regretted. To cover my embarrassment I answered, "Truthfully, I don't remember. I remember when those evil things came, and I remember the fight as well as..." My breath hitched, "As well as seeing his decapitated head. After the fact I lost track of time and by the time I came to, all of those beings were dead. I was covered in their blood, but I have no recollection and Isidora would never answer my questions." The mere mention of my vile mother left an acidic taste in my mouth.

I suppose my face wasn't to hard to read since I was answered with a solemn sigh. "I suppose choosing Isidora Xiomara wasn't my brightest moment. All the same, I would like to shed a bit of light on what happened that day. What truly caused the shift between you and your mother when Ronan was killed." In that moment, he had my full attention. For such a long time, I had tried to replay that day and still came up empty. My ears were open and attentive. He could sense it quite plainly and thankfully he didn't keep me waiting. "You must understand that despite what your mother was, my blood is so potent inside your veins." 

I nodded, not fully soaking in that tidbit of information. I was eager to know what happened in my absentee phase. He took a pause before continuing, "Since that day you have realized that you have power that appears as this raw energy. That alone is because of me. That day, your emotions were so triggered and haywired that the mere intensity outweighed how much your psyche could handle. The cause of all that blood shed was an all around instant death. The magnitude of raw energy had built up that you were practically a time bomb. Basically, my sweet girl, your energy externalized in full radius and focused solely on those who caused your pain. It ripped them apart and left them the way you saw them once that power ebbed away." He slightly squeezed my hand and said, "It was in that moment that your mother realized that what I had portrayed to be was, by far, more than she had thought. In realizing that, she blamed you for all that had happened. She believed that it was you they were after, and in truth you were not. Ronan had done such a good job keeping you beneath the radar that the only being they were after, was her." 

When he had finished, he looked at me with hesitant and expectant eyes. I didn't fully process it as fast as I should have, but when I did I could feel my anger arise. "You mean to tell me that his death...was her fault?! That if he hadn't have stepped in, he would be alive and she would be gone. That I wouldn't be so disgusting and ashamed of all she put me through after?" I pulled my hands from his grasped, my blood boiling. "If you as powerful as you seem, why didn't you intervene!? Why didn't you save my father!?" I exclaimed with fury. 

To my surprise he did not snap back at me. He merely sat there, waiting. I huffed and could feel my nerves rattling around. We sat in silence for a few minutes as I calmed back down. It wasn't until my breath had resumed a regular rhythm that he spoke again. "I know you are angry, but in that situation I could not intervene. Ronan made that term quite clear. If he was to raise you, than I had to let him do it in whatever way he saw fit; including in the event of his death. An event I never thought would happen the way that it did. Oddly enough, your brother had a similar event happen to his beloved mother."

My posture straightened it at his remark. I had only just realized that my brother was nowhere to be found. Yet, at the mere mention of his mother, my attention was once again honed to his every word. "In almost the same manner, his mother was killed by the same beings that killed Ronan. Not as gruesome of course, but your brother had an instant of blind fury fueled by her death." The thought of Arcanum watching his mother being killed caused my throat to constrict. I didn't quite know why it was affecting me so, but it did.

I had opened my mouth to speak when I was cut off by a deep growl. In unison, Zarae'l and I turned towards the source and were met with an agitated Arcanum. The guilt that swam in my eyes was quite plain to him. He stepped completely out of the shadows confronting us both, with his glare directed to Zarae'l. "What is the meaning of this? There is a need to speak of my mother?.. About her death? She has no need for that information. The events of that day don't pertain to her at all." His voice was growing exponentially with each sentence. Our father merely sat there in contempt, letting him continue, but the more Arcanum did the more broken my brother appeared. I rose from my seat and cautiously placed a hand upon his forearm. "Arcanum, please... stop. Look at me and say these things. I'm the one to blame. I was so eager to learn more about you that I didn't take into account of how it would perceive to you." My voice held a sense or serenity, and my hands glowed a soft white as if emanating tranquility. It took a few minutes of standing like this that my brother finally turned towards me with sad, empty eyes.

As Arcanum and I stood staring at each other, our father stood brushing some dirt off his clothes. He looked at each of us and said, "I shall leave you two alone for a bit, I have some business to attend to. I will see you both tonight." With that he exited the inner garden, leaving us alone.