Learning How to Bend

January 23

I awoke slowly. The first thing I noticed was the sterile smell of the room. The second was the steady beeping from a device on my right, announcing my heartbeat with little blips of noise. The third was that I felt terribly cold, and everything hurt. There was a dull ache in my head, and I felt like something was pressing down on my ribcage. Every time I breathed, needles of pain permeated my chest.

"Lily?"

The voice sounded like it was coming from a hundred miles away, and I was wearing earplugs. It was at that moment I realized someone was holding tightly to my hand. I willed my fingers to squeeze around whoever's it was, but they would not listen to me past twitching. Whoever was with me stood and leaned over me, putting a warm hand up against my cheek.

I knew that cologne.

"Little love, if you can hear me, try to open your eyes."

My eyelids fluttered open, but only more darkness greeted me. I managed a slight frown, Thaddeus kissing my forehead and leaving his lips against my skin for a few more seconds than necessary before pulling away to look down at me.

My heat hurt. I wanted to cry but lacked any tears to shed.

"Can you understand me?"

I nodded.

Thaddeus tried to move his hand from mine, but I found the strength to tighten my hold on his hand. Don't leave me, I thought. Please don't leave me.

"I'm staying right here," he said gently, seeming to know my thoughts. He moved my hair out of my face and kissed my forehead again.

"What happened?" My voice cracked when I spoke.

"Car accident. The other driver was texting and ran a red light."

My driver's yell, the tires shrieking, the smells, the sounds...everything suddenly bombarded my brain like a destructive tsunami. I felt myself start shaking, and I knew it was not only because I was cold. I must have grimaced, for Thaddeus squeezed my hand until my facial muscles relaxed, and I turned my head a bit toward the sound of his voice.

"What day is it?"

"Thursday. You've been in and out since the accident."

I frowned, my eyes closing as a wave of nausea rippled through my body. When it passed, I opened them again and rubbed my thumb on Thaddeus's hand. "How am I?"

"Do you want to hear that from the doctor?"

"Just tell me now. Please."

"Two fractured ribs and a concussion. You should be out of the hospital fairly soon, but the ribs won't heal for four to six weeks."

I nodded, not knowing what else to do or say, up until I remembered about Chelise's illness.

"Someone needs to get Chelise. Is she okay?"

"Joe has her. She's fine, just missing you."

I relaxed.

"When I listened to your message, I almost had a heart attack."

"How did you know which hospital I was at?"

"I saw it on the news in my office."

"You have a TV in there?"

"Live stream on my computer."

"Speaking of the news..." I hesitated to say more but decided to ask before I lost my resolve. "Did you ever hear or look up anything about me on the internet?"