Fault [bxb] ✔

{ THIRTY-NINE }

CHAPTER 39 | Moving On

Okay, this has turned a bit paranormal, but don't worry, it won't last long. Also, sorry if the past chapters haven't been as good, but next ones will be a little more interesting :)

The shadow standing ahead of me started to make its way towards me slowly. My heart thumped with fear at not knowing who the hell that was. I didn't know where I was. Was I dead?

As the mysterious person stood now before me, I froze in place and I could just stare into its dark face. A white light surrounded it but its figure was still dark. I tried to stand up, but something kept me glued onto the cold and rocky ground.

"I'm glad you're now regretting what you did." Spoke a male voice. If I thought that was Zack, then I was wrong. His voice didn't sound like Zack's

"W-What?" I stuttered.

"You know what I'm talking about." He said. His face cleared and now I could have a better look at it. And my eyes immediately recognized the person. "I'm Jim. Remember me? One of the many boys you bullied."

I widened my eyes. Jim had been a student at the same school I'm attending... Or that I attended. I remember I got lost in his face the first time I saw him. I thought he was attractive. When those thoughts about him invaded my head, I took care of the situation and dealt with it just as many previous times. I beat him up for days, until one day he wasn't seen around the school anymore, because according to some people, they told me he had moved to a different school.

"And I know what you're thinking. I never changed of school. Your beatings were the last thing I needed to make my life worse than it already was, and I killed myself." He said with hate.

I couldn't believe it. When I heard he had changed of school, I paid no mind to it and simply congratulated myself for getting rid of another person who I thought would affect my life. Every time some boy caught my attention a bit too much, I always worked to get rid of them so I didn't have to see them anymore. Because since I have memory, I have always done this kind of things with every boy that I... Liked. And the best way that I thought would stop making me like them, was to beat them up.

"That's right." Jim said, strangely reading my mind. "You always beat us up until we couldn't bear your abuses anymore. And all this for what? Because the big tough guy had crushes on every boy that caught his attention, but he never wanted to admit it. The big tough guy beat up lots of boys, and the bad news is that not all of them liked him back. Me included."

I stared at him surprisingly. "Y-You... You didn't like me?"

"Of course not! It was never my fault that you wanted to beat to death every single boy that you fell in love with. What was your point in doing that? Was it easier to get rid of every boy that you liked instead of just accepting that you were gay, bi or whatever?"

"It's not that easy to just accept it! I... I was confused!" I argued.

"And you had to unleash your confusion and anger on us?! Why didn't you unleash them on yourself? Why did you have to involve us in your problems?!"

I sighed and shook my head, and I couldn't deny that he was right. I've been a fucking idiot since I can remember.

"Yes, you are." Jim said.

"Shut up, I'm thinking." I huffed, annoyed that he could read all of my thoughts.

I felt weird things with every boy that caught my eye at school. Sure, I... I liked them a bit. But that bit was enough for me to say, No. This is wrong. I can't feel this. I can only like girls. And so I proceeded to hit them repetitively without mercy. Those boys never became my friends. We talked very few but I never kissed them, as much as the thought of doing that passed through my head. When my eyes landed on Zack for the first time, my mind said Shit. Not again. I knew I was going to have a hard time with him when I got lost in his beautiful brown eyes and his cute face. As soon as those feelings started, I knew someday I would have to beat him in order to justify my straightness and convince myself I didn't like him.