Song

Chapter 15: Zhou

The squalls of evening crows wash over the tranquil forest air, drowning out the howls of Song's blade. The evening sunlight pours through the canopy of the the forest, painting the air and the nature around him in blazing orange. Though he's spent the entire time practising his swordsmanship, his mind has never left Shu and what he said three nights ago. Ever since that night, his partner has been avoiding him, and it's been hurting him greatly.

"Making decisions by putting your hatred before my safety? Are you even my partner anymore?"

"If you're gonna keep hiding things from me, then you can forget about me being your partner."

Anger pulsates through him whenever he thinks about those words, but it's a different kind of anger from the one he's used to. Loathing, yes, but for once, it's self-loathe. He continues with his sword drills, stabbing and slashing at the air again and again with Zhi, as if to lash out at phantoms of himself, the parts that he hate about himself.

"So that's where you are," calls a voice from behind.

Song pauses and lowers his blade. Even as the person continues to approach him, Song can't find the will to face him.

"Mei..."

The footsteps finally stop, but no words fill the silence between them. The crows cry out in the distance again, as if rudely wanting to liven up the wordless atmosphere.

"The Festival of Moons is in two days' time; that's the day of your duel, right?" Mei begins. "That's also the day when Father took us from our families."

"Yeah."

Mei shuffles in his place, obviously having more to say, but no words leave him. Still, Song can probably guess what's on his mind.

"Hey..." Song says softly. "I'm a horrible person, aren't I?"

"Hmm?" Mei eyes at him.

Song's mind drifts back to the thoughts that have been haunting since Shu said those words to him. When Shu said them, he brought his fears to light.

"I've been so obsessed over my freedom, over my hatred, that I place everything else after it," Song continues. Zhi slowly dematerialises from his hand, evaporating into mere wisps of Chi. "Even those that care about me."

Mei purses his lips as he considers Song's words. "Well, the fact that you're having these thoughts mean something. You're not a bad person at heart, I think."

"Aren't I?" Song looks back at his friend, but his gaze only meets his chest. "That deal I made with Kiin... if I die, Shu will be branded as a traitor and hunted down by the Blossom. It's a death sentence to him, and yet I accepted it anyway. I was so stupid. I... I mean, defeat wasn't something I was willing to accept, and honestly I'd rather die than to live as a slave to Kiin's whims, but I never really thought about how Shu would feel."