Social Heart

IRL

Scarlett was staring at the wall as she laid in bed. Chris was passed out beside her, it was probably three am. She couldn't sleep. She doesn't really sleep anymore, to begin with.

She was rather proud of her self. The world thinks she okay. She has successfully created a persona online strong enough, one that people won't question, one that everyone believes.

But when she turns off the phone and Chris walks away she can cry. She doesn't like to cry in front of Chris, she wants him to believe she is okay.

Her family, including Chris, want her to see a grief counselor. But ever since she started to become 'happy' they have stopped hassling her. But the voices in her head have never gone away, she is on the verge of breaking down every so often.

Looking down Chris had his arm wrapped around her waist loosely and as if her prayers were answered he shifted in his sleep moving his arm off her completely.

She got up from the bed and her two dogs raised their heads looking at her before going back to sleep as if deciding whatever she was doing was worth it.

Scarlett walked downstairs and then went outside in the backyard. A few months ago when deciding what house to get Chris wanted a nice like tree house kinda area, it was just like a deck in a tree. It was nice and private.

It was beginning to get warm out so she didn't need to cover up, the chill air hit her skin giving her goosebumps but not enough to be a problem.

Grief was a strange thing.

Life was a strange thing.

Why couldn't she have kept the baby? Was the world telling her she isn't ready, that she shouldn't be a mother? Is this the worlds way of saying she isn't good enough? The voices in her head just wouldn't shut up.

Horrible person.

what did this make her?

How could she lay besides that man whose baby she killed?

You are worth his love.

And for the first time since Chris came to her hotel that night she cried. She cried a whole damn lot of tears. She has come to realize that she is broken. here is no fixing her.

Maybe the voices are right.