29. Maeve

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After few weeks of hell, I finally met Lexy. She's been missing. I don't know what she and Cara been doing. I haven't heard from her for those few weeks. I don't know why I think of her a lot. I guess I just missed her.

Now that I'm seeing her right now and she's right next to me, I can't tell how happy I am but at the same, I'm feeling a bit upset.

Looking at her like this, I wonder, does she think of me a lot like I do?

No, Maeve. She doesn't.

That's what my thoughts keep saying because Alex is so damn famous in here. She doesn't have the time to think of me. She's a busy person.

Another thing that makes me sad is that... she's not dating anyone but she's having it with our HR Director. All those hickeys on her neck I saw, I couldn't stop thinking if they were just from Sarah. Or was she with someone else too?

"What?" I say, after realizing her fingers right in front of me. "Yeah, sure."

Lexy laughs. She wipes her mouth with a napkin, giving me that look. "Um, I haven't asked anything. You were miles away I needed get you down to earth."

I carve an awkward smile, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Mind sharing what's in your head?" she raises her brow.

I gulp. There's so much in my head, full of her but I know I can't just spill them all.

I look around, much to my surprise it is just us two in the café. Lexy took me out to lunch today.

I clear my throat, thinking if I should just ask her.

After few seconds, "May I ask you something?" I sigh.

Lexy nods her head, forking her food.

"What is it between you and Sarah Walker?"

Lexy pinches her brows and then smiles. "Um, one-time thing?"

"But she's married," I say. "Her husband is my boss. Isn't that- you know-," I pause. "Never mind."

"Maeve, I-"

"Are you having it with someone else too?" I cut her off. "Because I don't know why I feel like she's not the only one."

Lexy puts her cutleries down, again wiping her mouth with the napkin. "Why did you think that?"

I sink in my seat, shaking my head. Suddenly I just get more upset. "Because you did me, Lex. And then knowing you did others too, I wonder what I am to you."

"Maeve," she sighs. "You said you and I-. You said that can't happen again between us."

I force a nod, thinking of another thing to say. Yes I know I did say that can't happen between us again but that's because Astrid and I just broke up. I wasn't really ready.

I can feel her eyes are still on me, waiting for another word and I keep my head down, avoiding her staring.

"If you're not dating anyone, are you sleeping around with people, Lex?" I lift my head up slowly, fighting to look at her in the eye.

She licks her lip and look away. After few milliseconds her eyes are back on me and nods her head.

I swallow hard. The food right in front of me now doesn't look good anymore. "Was I one of your fuck the other day?"

"Maeve," her voice softens. "I-"

Before she could finish her words, I cut her off, again. "You know, when you took me out to see places and we kissed, I thought it was real. I thought you have- had- ..." I sigh, closing my eyes.

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