A Romantic Vision

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The next letter came by the end of the same week but it felt as if a lot had happened. I opened it and now the writings more mid arranged, half of the cursive letters cross each other though not merrily, there are blotches of tears I can tell. He is in pain...

I do not read.
It would make me weak.

Timur wears his overcoat and that tells me he is about to leave.

"Where to?" I ask breaking the way for him.

"Community duty, it was dear to Anne" he spoke and disappeared.

I looked down at the letter again, should I open it?
I looked at the blossoming Bluebells they warn me...but when did I listen...

Dearest Miss,

I have failed myself, what was I thinking...
I should have taken the easy route, I should have taken a simple life, I should have been ignorant, this knowledge is a slow poison miss.

Have you sense of how much I miss you, I never thought of you having a heart so hard...
My wife hates my habit of eating my nails also when I rub my arms, I never thought I did that but I do when I'm nervous...
You made me nervous back in the days, oh I wish that year would return, I would not leave your side and I would talk to you about everything or we could be silent, I'd let you choose.

If that year would be back Miss, would you live it in another way? I would use it with serenity, with utmost misery, would take a little sip of it each time as to not waste it... I would never squander it as I did...

I feel lonely most of the time, especially when both these women scream, they make me want to slit open each of their throats and drink their blood, they make me thirsty in a vile way. I scorn weeping like a dog all day, worst I cry in my sleep too. My wife tells me that, she says her pity for me had made her love me. I could say the same for her but I don't think she would appreciate this confession like I did.

The other day when we made love I realised we both were crying, I do not know who is more miserable between us?

I want to go somewhere Miss...like your city perhaps, where it is ample noise to not hear screams. You should invite me, don't you think? After all, I am your best friend, ain't I? Or have you given the title, this one too, to Timur?