Hate vs. Love ✓ [Original Version]

Chapter 34 Someone To Love

Chapter 34: Someone to love

Aimlessly, I walked around the forest. I was mostly trying to find the camp again. All that splashing on my face hadn't been the best idea. My red contacts were long lost in that stupid lake. Moreover, it was still raining hard, making it hard to wander around without slipping.

I didn't care. I wished for this rain for wash me away from this world.

Life sucked.

People sucked.

And I was unable to control myself. Every thing, every thought, every memory--all was a burden to me. Sniffling, I began retracing my steps to the best of my capability. Brandon had made me promise to not hurt myself...but I had made him promise not to leave me.

If he couldn't keep his promise, then why should I?

Like the "selfish, inconsiderate, and miserable" human being I was, I picked up a thick, wet tree branch. I needed to get a way to down all the emotional pain that was inside me. The anger inside me was building. It was at its peak when I smacked myself on the arm with the stick. My eyes closed immediately.

It hurt. Maybe. I couldn't tell. But the physical pain was only temporary. Temporary relief from the emotional unstability. I struck myself three more times on the same arm. When I went to hit myself for the fourth time, I was stopped.

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" I opened my eyes to find Julian standing beside me. He held my half raised arm ready to strike. Slowly, he moved to stand directly in front of me. Anger and rage dominated his facial features. In the dark, with terrible eyesight, I saw Julian with the most grave look I had ever seen.

"Let me go!" I cried. Tears were long gone, but now, it was the anger again.

"Why? So, you could hit yourself again?!" he nearly shouted at me. His grip on my arm tightened, not ready to let go anytime soon.

"What's your problem, Julian?" I demanded. "Why can't you leave me alone? I am not dying here!"

"No, you are not, but you seem to be on the way!"

"My life is my problem, Aylmer. Just leave me," I said coldly.

"Damn it, Cassie!" he let go off my arm, forcefully. "Are you mad?!"

"I know what I am doing!"

Julian still had a serious expression, but now he seemed to have calmed down. "Cassie, you're being reckless. I cannot believe that you are bloody inflicting pain to yourself!" Okay, I was wrong about him calming down. His anger was still there, but he was trying hard not to show it.

"I'm not being reckless, Julian," I said quietly. The foreigner looked between the branch and I. His look of disbelief and disappointment was extremely disheartening. It was depressing how everyone only saw my faults. Did I even have anything not faulty? Maybe everyone had the right to hate me...

Before I could control myself, I broke down. The branch dropped out of my grasp, and I collapsed to the ground. The worst of myself came out as I cried my heart out without caring about anything.

What had happened today was nothing. Nothing I shouldn't be used to. Except for the words I had been told. Lucas was right indeed about saying who I was. Julian--all he cared about was the stupid deal. Piper and the rest of the girls--they couldn't care less about anything but themselves.

And here I sat. On the cold, wet ground under the pouring rain, crying for everything wrong that had happened to me. No one has ever been there. Just to simply sit and ask me what was wrong. Or just sit and console me that everything was going to be okay. Brandon had done it on plenty of occasions, but after he left, there was no one.