You can't get enough of me, can't you?

Chapter 1: Who the fuck is Eren Jäger?

So as y'all might know 845 we lost the wall Maria.

Five years later some other titans decided to ruin my day. Sadly, we were outside the walls when the titans attacked. On our way back to the front Hanji got informed that a little fucking recruit attacked the colossal titan and then the titan just disappeared. "Eren Jäger", Hanji said. "WHO THE FUCK IS EREN JÄGER???!!" I angrily screamed to my group. I already hate him. 

At the withdrawing we received the message that there is a titan who ignores the humans and fights against other titans, Hanji was more than excited to see him, so we got up on the wall and looked for him. I saw the recruit team guide this titan to the headquarters where the wimps of the supply force kept hiding. 

I watched on my list with the 10 best and recognized Jean Kirschtein who led half of his group to death. Oh, dear Lord, please don't let him join the reconnaissance troop. Thanks to Armin Alert and Mikasa Ackerman they killed all the titans together with that crazy other titan. But when they finally had the possibility to escape, the titan began to melt and they fucking found a HUMAN IN HIS NECK. You may guess 3 times who: fucking Jäger.

"Sir Pixes gave the command to protect Eren at all costs, meanwhile he is carrying a big rock to the wall to close the hole with the rock. The elite team of the wall garrison is with him. First Eren's titan drove crazy and hit the Ackerman girl, but now it seems to work. Uhhhhhhhhh Levi? Ackerman?" she provoked me. "Shut the fuck up Hanji, where are they now?". As soon as she told me I ran ahead. I found them at the trapdoor where Eren already closed the hole. But there were like 10 titans around them. I killed the titans and then I wanted to scream at them why they weren't moving when I saw it: They were cutting Eren out of the titan's neck. Disgusting. Eww. Bah. So much to clean up!

The military police put Eren into prison because nobody knew what he's gonna do next. When he woke up I... well I simply asked him. I expected him to be rude or angry because he was handcuffed, but this idiot really said: "I wanna join the reconnaissance troop. And then I'll exterminate them. I will kill each titan." I must admit that I was really surprised by his reaction. He was so close to titans, he was eaten by one, saw how they ate his mother and he still wants to go back? In this moment I chose a decision I might regret:" Fucking Jäger! I allow your accession to the reconnaissance troop! From now on I have the responsibility about you. Erwin, you may tell that the government, and shall he be out of control Imma kill him. Oh and I'm the only one who can and may kill him and that's an order".

After that I did something even more stupid. I got waaaaaaaaayyyyyyy too drunk. So I walked down to the prison and sent the soldiers away. "Fuuucking Jäger" I shouted. "Sir?" he asked. He seemed to be very surprised to see me. "Hmmmm, want some Tequilla?". "No", fucking Jäger said. "Why so fucking shy? Are you afraid I might kill you? Here? Now?" "If you first let me kill some titans, you may do whatever you want with me, Heichou." Ohh gooooood this boy is so obsessed in killing titans, that's so annoying! But then I thought about what he said. "Fucking Jäger, I want you to bring me to my room". "Sir?" he asked even more confused. I was trying to get of his handcuffs when I straight fell onto him. Embarassing. Puh, one more shot and I'd have fallen asleep on top of this stranger. "Sir if you want me to get out of these handcuffs, I could also do it on my own, you seem to be very drunk?" He nervously asked. I nodded and took my hands away, when I accidently touched his arm. "BAAAAH FUCKING JÄGER, WHY ARE YOU SO DAMNED COLD? I'M FUCKING FREEZING, WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU"

"Shhh, Heichou" he whispered, and laid his finger on my lip. Wait he did what?? A-And why the fuck does that turn me on?? "It has -15 degrees down here, but you may not scream, or the soldiers come and shoot me, because they would think Imma eat you". Eat me? Oh yeah there was something like that... Well, whatever I was trying to think of, I got interrupted by a loud noise. It was fucking Jäger who tore the chains of the handcuffs out of THE FUCKING WALL. "What- Why didn't you free yourself earlier?". "I'm only allowed to do what you order, Heichou". Hm. I kinda like that. "Okay fucking Jäger, you are now allowed to bring me to my fucking room, I'm hella tired".

Fucking Jäger put my arm over his shoulders and his surrounded my hips to hold me. When we finally reached my room, I fell onto my bed. Fucking Jäger sat next to me in the big red armchair. "Drink some tequila" I offered, but he refused. Annoying. "That was an order, not an offer" I angrily said.

Oh damn, that was my third mistake today. Fucking Jäger had 4 shots and then he was COMPLETELY drunk. "Heichou?" he asked. "What is it", I can't tell who was more drunk. "I wanted to thank you for letting me join your troop, but I can't do that anymore." Is he fucking serious?? But before I could scream at him his eyes began to water. "Heichou..." he whispered, "I wanted to kill so many titans. I wanted to exterminate all of them. But I can't no more. Heichou, I'm going to die tomorrow. There will be a tribunal and then the military police will kill me."

"Oh, what a pity" I said and took another shot. "Fuck say something!" he shouted. "Who do you think you are to talk like this to me?" Now he got on my nerves. If he wanted to die, he shall please do that outside of my bedroom. Eww. So much to clean!

"Heichou" he said and laughed sadly. "I'm going to die tomorrow; I may say whatever I want, I have nothing to lose." "Not even your virginty?" I asked and laughed loudly. But then I saw his face. He seemed to get shy about that theme. Sooo I had some sort of idea. I stood up from my bed and went over to him, grabbed his chin and made him look into my eyes. And then I slightly came closer and fucking Jäger blushed. HE BLUSHED. His whole head, neck and ears were red like blood. "Ohooo" I said and smirked.