Half of My Heart ✔️

09 | drive me insane

As we make our way through the house, Jack's hand somehow finds mine. I want to give in to this moment, to let my long-oppressed feelings for him take over, but there's a nagging thought that keeps me from enjoying this moment with him.

"So how many other girls have you taken through your College Party Bucket List?" I ask as we start walking up the staircase.

He looks behind him and waits for me to fall in step beside him. His thumbs brushes across the back of my hand reassuringly. "None," he says, sounding brutally honest. "You know you mean more to me than that."

"That's kind of hard to believe when everything you do contradicts that," I say, trying to suppress the vulnerability in my voice. I know I'm being unfair, holding this over him even after he explained himself. I want to believe him. I want to believe that even if he did have feelings for me, this would last more than a single night. God, I wish I believed it.

And tonight, I think I actually do.

I look down the staircase at the people talking, drinking, laughing. "Are you sure Archer won't know I'm here? I'd think that he'd be invited to any party that you're invited to."

We reach the top of the staircase, and there are a few people up here as well. Some say hi to Jack as we pass them, walking to an unknown destination in the hallway. "Don't worry about Arch. I think he's hooking up with some cheerleader he met today. He's probably back at our dorm with her right now."

He wraps his arm around my waist again, pulling me closer to him as the hallway narrows with people lined against the walls. "I don't know how I feel about that," I say. "I thought he was with Mya."

Jack turns to look at me, raising an eyebrow. "Is that what she thinks? Nah, Archer said they're nothing more than friends."

"With benefits," I finish for him as he opens a door at the end of the hallway. I try not to think too much of Archer as I begin to enter a dark room with his best friend. "She thinks they're something more, but he just thinks of her as a fuck-buddy? You're a bad influence on him."

We enter a dark room, and Jack turns on a lamp. He raises his hands defensively as he sits on the bed. "Hey, you know how your brother is. And you know that I have nothing to do with that. I've always been upfront with girls. When I want someone, I tell them that. If I don't, I tell them that too."

I walk over to him and sit next to him, hiding the way my breath hitches when his leg touches mine. His hand laces in mine again, and I rest my head on his shoulder. "You haven't told me anything. Does that mean you're still trying to figure out how you feel about me?" I ask.

Jack's gaze never leaves me. "You know how I feel about you. There's nothing to figure out."

"Then tell me," I say softly, sitting up straight and turning toward him, urging him to just let it out. "No more games, Jack."

"I think," he says, holding one of my hands in both of his gently, "that you drive me insane, and some days, your laugh is the only thing running through my mind. And I've wanted to tell you that for longer than you could imagine."

Jack's face is mere inches from mine, but he doesn't make a move. He watches me, gauging my reaction to his words. I move my face closer to his, smiling. My laugh? "You still didn't tell me how you feel about me. Is playing games all you're capable of?"

He smiles lightly, watching my lips. "You wanna know how I feel about you? I like you, Scarlett. A lot. And I think about you so much that it makes me act like a fucking dumbass."

His lips are so close to mine, and the temptation to kiss him is stronger than I think I can handle. But I pull back, relishing the control I have over this— the control he's given me by telling me how he feels and letting me decide where to go from here.