After a car accident leaves Riley Perez in a coma, she wakes up in the hospital a year later. With the absence of the memories of her loved ones, she continues to live her life, but nothing is ever the same again, especially with a gaping void in he...
My words hit him. His eyes cloud over, an unfathomable emotion flashing in them. I give him a few minutes to grasp my unfortunate situation. To finally understand why we haven't been on the same page ever since our first encounter in school.
Amidst the tense silence, he grips the steering wheel so tight that I fear he might hurt himself. I want to reach out to him, to touch his hand, but I withhold myself when I notice the way he looks. A storm rages in his eyes, tremors invade his body, and a dark cloud looms over his perfectly sculpted face.
Dread settles in my stomach. The longer the silence stretches on, the more I'm convinced that his reaction is turning out in the worst way possible. I kind of expected this when I revealed my amnesia to him earlier, but it doesn't mean I'm not afraid. By telling him about my condition, I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. But then again, ever since the first time I've met him as Riley, the memory deprived ex-girlfriend, nothing has been right between us.
I wait for him quietly. After several seconds, he forces out his words in a low whisper. "You remember nothing about...us?"
I give a slight shake of my head.
"I'm sorry."
Hurt flashes in his eyes. "You're lying."
I inhale sharply before gnawing on my bottom lip. "I wish I was."
Something clicks in his head. He shifts his gaze back to me, incredulous. "That book... The one I saw the other day in your room... I thought you were acting crazy when I saw you writing to yourself, but this is the reason behind it? Because you don't know who you are."
His voice rises in volume with each word. Clasping my hands together on my lap, I hold my breath and nod once.
His face turns livid, his veins standing out on his neck. "You're telling me you've forgotten about us? That during the past year, I'm the only one who feels the pain from our breakup while you get away with everything?"
Guilt rams into me. My mouth opens to say something, but no words come out. It feels as if the more I say, the angrier he becomes. And thus, I remain silent, feeling his rage rolling off him in waves.
"How much did you forget?" he questions. "Is it just me and your mother? Your aunt... Do you remember her?"
I shake my head sadly. "Everyone."
He falls into a dead silence, thinking, before his eyes flit back to me.
Something in his expression changes. There's a sudden softness to his features. He reaches for me and—with a startling realization on my end—leans towards me. To my surprise, his left hand comes around and cradles the back of my head gently, while his right hand cups my cheek. Our eyes remain connected; mine expanding into enormous orbs. I can't look away, not when he's looking at me tenderly, like I'm something precious. He takes his time to search my eyes carefully, as if he's looking for a fragment of my old self.
I hold my breath, strongly aware of how my heart is pounding like crazy. In this enclosed space, there's no place for me to run away.
But, deep down in my heart, I know I don't want to either.
What happens next makes me lose my grip on my sanity. Kyle closes the distance between our faces. He places his lips on mine, kissing me desperately and setting my skin on fire. My mind tumbles in circles and my senses heighten at the increasing awareness of his hot skin on mine. Somehow, amid everything, my hands reach for the front of his shirt. I grab fistfuls of it, needing something to hold on for support.
The kiss deepens between us, leaving me breathless. My lips part unconsciously and upon seeing this, he takes the chance to attack my bottom lip by nibbling on it lightly. I reel back, but he holds me in place, refusing to let me go. He tastes like mint and desire, something which I can't stop myself from having more.
For the first time, I feel alive.
All too soon, the kiss ends. He pulls back slightly, but keeps his hands on me. My cheeks flush brightly from what has just happened, knowing how red and sore my lips are. Being this close to him, I can't help but notice how his mouth is an inch away from mine. I remember how they felt on my lips, soft and warm, and as greedy as this sounds, I want it to happen again.
He studies me intently. "What about this?" he whispers with a lace of hope in his voice. "You don't remember it? Because the way you kissed me back is the same as what you did before."
At his question, my heart breaks. Tears form in my eyes and choke me. I know what answer he wants from me, but I can't give it to him no matter how much I want to. Unless my memory returns, he will continue to be disappointed.
My guilt-filled expression is all it takes to give him his answer. He switches back to his distant self, pinning me with a long stare before moving away from me. He turns back to face the front, and I briefly mourn the loss of his warmth. I remember the chilling look in his eyes. It unnerves me and I immediately understand that he isn't willing to accept the fact I'm suffering from amnesia.
"Kyle, I'm sorry."
He doesn't answer me. Without saying a word, he starts the car and drives off. For the rest of the route home, he remains silent. Even after he pulls into my driveway, he refuses to look at me. I grab my bag and thank him for giving me a ride, but all I get is a stiff nod of acknowledgment,
Once I step out, his car hurriedly leaves. Watching it disappear down the street, I sigh to myself, feeling despondent more than ever. It feels like I've made the biggest mistake of my life because Kyle's wrath intensifies, a roaring fire that burns brighter than before.
Shortly afterwards, Aunt Abbie calls me back, worried that I've gotten myself into trouble after all the missed calls that she and Uncle Dave have received from me. Not wanting her to worry anymore than she should, I make up an excuse and tell her I've briefly lost my way and needed directions. After assuring her I've found the right route home, she calms down and believes my words.
She promises to bring me around town more often so that I will be more familiar with the places here. After we end the call, I'm ashamed of lying to her and breaking her trust, but I can't seem to tell her the truth without spilling the matter between me and Kyle.
And that is something which I clearly need to resolve on my own.
Later at night, as I lie on my bed, I'm having trouble falling asleep. Even when I close my eyes, all I see is Kyle and the way he truly looks underneath his tough shell; hurt, broken, and torn.
Knowing that I'm the reason for his current state breaks my heart.
To him, learning this truth might be several times more painful than how he had felt after I had dumped him and parted ways. I'm convinced that I've reopened his wounds and, perhaps, scarred him deeper than before.
After this, he's never going to look me in the eye ever again, isn't he?
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