Vigilante: Prompt Fills

Valentine's Day 2021

The way Eli stared at the batter in the bowl made it seem like he was attempting to cook it with his glare alone. It was a good thing that the actual subject of his ire wasn't around at the moment. Especially because the kitchen looked like a mess and the angry redhead standing in it looked like he was seriously considering setting the whole thing on fire and walking away.

"Stupid Matthew," he muttered, picking up the bowl and dumping the contents down the drain. "Stupid Valentine's Day." Eli rinsed out the bowl and then slammed it back down on the counter.

The ingredients for the cake he'd been attempting to make were laid out in front of him, seeming to mock him for having failed for the third time. Eli could feel his head starting to hurt, the burn he'd gotten while trying to salvage his second attempt throbbed and he was certain that there was flour and chocolate in his hair and the smell of burnt cake covering everything—though he couldn't even smell it anymore. Not for the first time that day, Eli mentally cursed Matthew's name.

It had all started, as things often did, with Matthew being an idiot. Apparently, he didn't think Eli was romantic. Granted, he didn't actually say that. It was just heavily implied.

Especially when he laughed in Eli's face after the redhead mentioned wanting to make some Valentine's day cookies—because he was a thoughtful and caring boyfriend and not at all because he wanted an excuse to eat cookies.

"It's okay, you don't have to do anything special," Matthew said once he'd gotten his laughter under control. He wiped a stray tear and rubbed at his aching stomach. "Really. I don't expect you to do anything super romantic or anything."

Well, fuck you too, Eli thought, glaring at Matthew as he walked away. He was still chuckling at the thought of Eli doing something nice because apparently the idea was that laughable.

Understandably, Eli was deeply offended by Matthew's response. As anyone who knew Eli could point out, when Eli was offended he often did stupid things. Incredibly petty and stupid things.

And so, Eli had decided that he would show Matthew that he damn well could be romantic as fuck. He was going to romance the crap out of Matthew and then he'd laugh as his stupid boyfriend was forced to admit he was an idiot and he was laughably wrong about Eli not being romantic.

His plan was simple. Sneak all the necessary materials into the apartment while Matthew was taking his afternoon nap, wait until Matthew left the night before Valentine's Day, then bake a cake so magnificent that Matthew would have no choice but to bow down to Eli's unparalleled skills at romance. Sounded easy enough.

Of course, it all went to hell because Eli had conveniently forgotten that delusions of grandeur didn't usually become reality. Also, he couldn't bake worth a damn.

Now, hours after Matthew had left on some supposedly important drug bust or something—Eli hadn't been listening by that point because he actually wanted Matthew to leave for once, no matter how stupid the reason—and Eli had begun his ill-advised plan to attempt an overly elaborate dessert, he had nothing to show for it. Nothing but a messy kitchen and a whole lot of regret. But Eli was nothing if not stubborn, and spite was an amazing source of motivation.

The main one in Eli's life, really.

And so, after a five minute break in which Eli convinced himself to not simply walk away, he made one more attempt. He figured he still had time since it was just past one o'clock and Matthew usually got back after three.

You can do this, Eli told himself, not pausing to consider how sad it was that he needed to give himself a pep talk. Just think about Matthew's stupid face when you show him you can do romantic shit.