Vigilante: Prompt Fills

A Very Late Halloween Special

There were very few things that could make Eli spit out his food.

One of those very things was definitely Matthew, showing up in front of a whole party's worth of people, in his Vigilante suit. It just so happened that was exactly the image Eli was struggling to process at the moment. Matthew strutted into the room with a positively delighted look on his stupid, masked face. Eli could have throttled him.

Instead, he had to focus on breathing as he choked on the pizza he'd been enjoying. As he struggled to keep any pepperoni from killing him, Matthew walked up to him with one of his usual—and currently very annoying—grins.

"Well then, hell doesn't seem so bad anymore," was the first thing he said, as he looked at Eli—red face matching his devil costume a little too perfectly. Eli should have expected such a stupid greeting.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" Eli said in a harsh whisper, partly because he didn't want anyone to overhear and partly because his throat was still recovering from nearly inhaling a mouthful of pizza.

"Well, I know I said I wouldn't come with you, seeing as I didn't have a costume and all, but then I thought 'Matthew you idiot, of course you have a costume' which is actually kind of funny if you think about it. But anyway, I figured I could change it up a bit and it'd still look pretty good. Even managed to make it here in time." He looked absolutely pleased with himself. As if he weren't just about the dumbest man Eli had ever known. Not for the first time, Eli had to wonder why he was dating the idiot standing in front of him.

Because you're a shallow bitch and he's stupidly good looking, his brain reminded him. And okay, fair enough.

"Is that actual blood?" Eli asked, for the first time noticing that little detail.

Matthew looked down at his hands, apparently just noticing. Didn't even seem surprised. Eli should have found that alarming. Then again, his idea of what was normal was seriously fucked.

"Oh yeah. Well, I ran into a mugger on the way," Matthew said, making it sound like he was talking about the weather. "I think it adds authenticity to the look."

Eli considered laying down to cry for a bit.

The only source of consolation—perhaps the only thing keeping him from throwing Matthew out the window—was the fact that no one seemed to have noticed Matthew's presence. Or at least, they hadn't realized he was not, in fact, in a costume. Eli just hoped that particularly rare bit of luck would hold until he could shove the idiot out the door and back home.

"Oh my God, it's Vigilante!"

Eli felt his heart stop.

It was actually funny, how he'd always known he'd die of a heart attack. He'd also always known that it wouldn't be caused by all the fast food he loved to eat. No, of course not. That honor would be all Matthew's. The man would be the literal death of him, Eli just knew it.

But, it wouldn't be that night.

Eli let out a relieved breath as Vanessa walked up to them, dressed as a pirate—beard included. She stopped in front of them, grinning like the mad woman she was as she looked Matthew up and down.

"That's a pretty good costume," she said after a moment. "I thought Eli said you had nothing to wear, how'd you whip that up so quickly."

It was a good question. Eli still wished Vanessa hadn't asked. After all, Matthew was a shit liar.

"Well, I just remembered I had some stuff laying around. Figured I could throw an outfit together." Eli was impressed at how not awful that lie was. He still glared at Matthew while Vanessa wasn't looking. "Eli hates it," Matthew added, because he just loved throwing Eli under the bus.