Vigilante: Prompt Fills

Pumpkin Patch

In hindsight, Eli should have expected Matthew to want the most ridiculously oversized pumpkin he could find. After all, Matthew always wanted to go for the most insane option he was presented with.

His whole life, for example, seemed to be a chain of ridiculous choices that had-by some miracle-worked out for him. Eli still wondered how Matthew was even real. Mostly though, he'd made peace with dating such a weirdo. Besides, at times it was kinda fun.

Now though, as he fought to drag Matthew away from a pumpkin that probably weighed as much as Eli, he was starting to reconsider.

"We're not getting that one," Eli said.

"But it's Halloween," Matthew whined like an overgrown five year old.

"First off, it's more than a week until Halloween," Eli pointed out. "Second, and I really can't stress this enough, we live on the fourth floor." How Matthew expected to get the stupid thing up there was a mystery.

Eli didn't even know why they were even there when they didn't have a yard to decorate. Sure, he'd agreed just to get Matthew to shut up, but he hadn't expected to end up agreeing to let him buy anything. He supposed that proved how annoying Matthew could be.

"So?" Matthew looked genuinely confused as to why it would matter where they lived.

"So, we're not getting that one."

"It's not even that big," was Matthew's last ditch attempt.

"You can't even lift it," Eli said in a dry tone.

"Sure I can!"

Eli gave him a look that made it blatantly clear he should just pick another damn pumpkin. With a sigh, Matthew did just that.

"How about that one?" he said, pointing to another pumpkin that, while not as large as his first choice, still made Eli question his life choices.

"Why can't you be normal?" he asked in a muffled voice, his face resting in his hands. He completely disregarded the strange looks some of the families around them were shooting him.

"Because that would be boring," Matthew sounded utterly shameless. Like always. "Come on, this one's smaller."

And it was. Eli was still pretty sure he couldn't lift it, but Matthew probably could. Granted, Matthew actually had muscles. Still, apparently that was the way they were gauging whether a pumpkin was acceptable or not and Eli really just wanted to leave.

"Fine," Eli agreed with a resigned sigh. "Just get the thing so we can go home."

"We can't get just one."

Of course they couldn't. Why Eli thought Matthew wouldn't want to fill their house with freakin' pumpkins, he didn't know. After all, he'd already made their apartment look like a cheap haunted house. Eli couldn't even get a glass of water at night without getting the crap scared out of him by one of Matthew's stupid singing decorations.

"Where are you even going to put them?" he asked, honestly curious as to where Matthew thought they could fit more decorations.

"The balcony." The quick answer told Eli that Matthew had actually thought about it. Somehow, he wasn't even surprised.

"You'll trip on them if you put them in the balcony." Eli thought about Matthew tripping and falling off the balcony because of a stupid jack-o'-lantern and nearly laughed. As much as he'd be upset if Matthew died, it would be a pretty ridiculous way to go.

"I will not," Matthew argued, sounding genuinely offended. "I'm too stealthy for that."

Eli rolled his eyes, but decided arguing would be a waste of time. Besides, Matthew was giving him that stupid kicked puppy look, so he was definitely not dropping it.