Heart | N.H.

sixteen - breakneck

Mom came home early from work that evening. At first I had no idea what she was doing there. I stayed rigid with confusion as she raced up to me and flung her arms around me. 

"Miracle, I was so worried! The receptionist said you just bolted out of the office, and you wouldn't answer your cellphone. I didn't know where you'd gone or what to do. Don't you ever scare me like that again!"

She'd noticed I was gone? "Sorry," I muttered quietly.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I'm so sorry."

I twisted out of her grip. "Did you know?"

"I... no. I mean, you only mentioned him once. And there's more than one guy named Niall."

I grit my teeth. "I've known Niall for over two months by now, Mom. And I've mentioned him more than once, okay? If you knew anything about my life, you would've known who he was way before this."

Mom blinked, her eyes filling with guilt. "Miracle, honey... I'm sorry. What else can I say? If I had known, I would've done whatever I could-"

"No you wouldn't. Because you don't care. You've never cared enough to give me a few minutes to talk to you everday. Now, when everything's falling apart, you care enough to spare me a hug. But it's a little late, okay?"

"Miracle, please-"

"I'm going to my room. Don't call me down for dinner. Just leave me alone. Please." I wiped furiously at my eyes, hating myself for crying like a weak baby. 

I stormed up the stairs and slammed the door shut behind me. 

This wasn't fair. Why? Why why why why. 

I had no pretty words, for once, to describe my emotions. There was nothing artistic or poetic about wanting to throw everything you owned out your window--the same window Niall had climbed out of... damn it.

Curling into a ball on the floor of my bedroom, I squeezed my eyelids shut so tightly that rainbows and supernovas exploded across my vision. I let them take over my thoughts, laying there like a dying star.

(Okay, so maybe I had a few pretty words left in me, but the point is I was still miserable.)

-

I didn't talk to Niall for six days. I ignored his texts, avoided him in school, and basically pretended he didn't exist. 

On the seventh day of my one-sided silent treatment, he showed up on my door. I opened the door, let out a small shriek, and tried to shut it. He was too fast for me though, and stuck out his leg so that I ended up slamming the door on his foot.

"Okay, that hurt," he grunted.

"Sorry. Move your foot." I leaned all my weight on the door, but I was no match for him. He shouldered through the entrance, pushing me back into the foyer. I was furious. "You are breaking and entering. Get out!"

"Miracle, just-"

"MOM, DAD-"

"Shut up!" he hissed, covering my mouth with his hand. While I made every possible attempt to bite his fingers off, he dragged me into my own living room. King looked up, watching as his owner was held against her will by a guy who was practically gagging her--and promptly returned to his nap.

"I'm really sorry if I'm hurting you, kitten, but you're not really giving me much choice," Niall grunted. "I have to talk to you and this is obviously going to be the only way- ow!"

Having successfully bitten him, I squirmed out from under his arm and spun to face him. "How dare you!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he babbled like a broken record. "I'm sorry for pushing my way in here, but you shut me out in every other way. I've messed everything up between us and I'm not pretending it isn't all my fault. I don't know how to make it better, but this is me trying. This is me trying to fix it, Miracle, because I don't want to let go of y- of this. Of our friendship."