Heart | N.H.

twenty two - holly & lights

After Zayn mentioned it, I did find myself noticing that--how did he put it?--Niall had a penchant for looking at me. Not in a creepy or painfully obvious way (at least, it seemed to me that Niall tried not to make it seem obvious). It was just the way that I would occasionally look up and find him already gazing at me--not intensely, actually sort of absent-mindedly, like he was thinking about something else. I would wonder what he was thinking about, seeing that expression on his face. It was strange, how sometimes I felt like I knew every part of him, every blue fleck in his eyes and every crooked twist in his wry smile. And other times he was completely nontransparent, his face a pale, set mask, much too restrained and weary for someone his age.

Now, sitting across from Niall on his bed on Christmas Eve, the thought of this mysterious aspect of his behavior made my stomach feel unusually tight. "You're my last nonfamily Christmas present," I said aloud, hoping he couldn't hear my misgivings in my voice.

He frowned. "You shouldn't have gotten me anything. We already swapped gifts."

We'd done our group secret Santa earlier this morning. I'd gotten a beautiful engraved tin box for painting supplies from Zayn, and given Harry a Packers sweatshirt. "I know we weren't supposed to get anyone anything else, but I couldn't help it. I was shopping for Mrs. Randolph's gift-"

Amused, Niall said, "Is that so? What did you get her?"

"Picture frames. So she can hang up some of her pictures of her daughter," I said quietly. "Anyway, I saw this." I handed him a wrapped package.

Niall turned it over in his hands, shaking his head. "You really, really shouldn't have. You already made a $1000 donation in my name."

"That was Liam."

"But-"

"Open it, Niall."

He sighed. "Fine. Then you open this." He handed me a small, flat square.

I raised my eyebrows. "We already did our gift swapping, Niall," I parroted teasingly.

He ignored me. "Count of three. One, two, three."

He carefully slid his fingers underneath the tape and slid his gift out of its wrapping. I, on the other hand, totally massacred the paper around my gift. I gasped loudly. "A CD?"

"Two," Niall corrected, and I saw that he was right. "The first one is Lorde's Pure Heroine."

"And what's the second one?"

Sheepishly, he scratched the nape of his neck. "Er, it's called... Cities. Dumb title, I know. I'll definitely change it later on. It's unpublished, anyway, obviously. Totally unknown and exclusive."

Gaping at him, I said, "You're kidding. This is yours?"

"Um, it's just like, a few songs... I recorded... by myself. Shitty quality, shitty music-"

"That's incredible," I whispered, hugging the CD to my chest. "Did you see your present?"

"Yes. You painted me my stream."

"And?" I said, feeling, for the first time ever, nervous about my art.

"And what? I love it. It'll give me a way to escape to somewhere I love even when I trapped inside."

I smiled. "That stream is really important to you, huh?"

He peered up at me. "Yes it is, but that isn't why I said what I said about the painting. I meant because it was painted by you."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I just bit my lip and looked down at the blanket beneath me. Niall let out a soft groan, gathering me into his arms.