Heart | N.H.

thirteen - loud heartbeats (under coats)

"Almost Thanksgiving break. Two more days," Annika told me. 

I beamed at her. "I'm so excited; I need those days of rest."

"I'm with you there, sister."

I cleared my throat. "Um, Annika, you haven't spoken to Callie yet, have you?"

Callie and I had reconciled a few days ago; I had fully intended to apologize first, but she'd beaten me to it. Annika, however, still refused to even talk to our friend. 

"No, I haven't, Miracle," Annika said stiffly. "I'm done with her, I hope you realize that. She can't just treat people so rudely... She always pushes us away, and I'm tired of it."

"But you know how tough things are for her. Ted's gone back to New York, which means it's just her and her parents."

Annika let out a small sniff, refusing to meet my eyes.

I let out a small sigh. We hadn't gotten together with our entire group in weeks, and I was really missing the loudness of having all of us in one room, something I never thought I would. But there was no way I was going to be the one to force Harry and Callie to interact. 

Poor Harry. That must hurt so badly, loving her and not being able to tell her for fear of being laughed at or pushed away. 

Why did life have to be so complicated? 

"So, do you know what you're wearing to Harry's party tonight?" asked Annika.

"Huh? Oh yeah... a dress."

"Well, no duh. What does it look like?"

"Um, it's like, dark green..."

She laughed. "Okay, don't hurt yourself, I can wait till I see it at the party."

I twisted my hair around my finger nervously. "I don't even know if I want to go. I really don't like parties. Who even throws a party for Thanksgiving, anyway?"

"The Styles, of course," responded Annika. "But don't worry, if it's formal enough to wear dresses and tuxes to, it shouldn't be that crazy."

I really hoped so.

Out of pure nerves, I found myself getting ready a lot earlier then I had to that evening. I slipped into my dress and scrutinized myself in the mirror. The fabric was a deep lagoon color, with lacy long sleeves and a simple collarline. I couldn't help feeling like maybe it wasn't revealing enough; it wasn't super long, but I didn't have lengthy legs, so that wasn't much use.

Whatever. It was what I felt comfortable in. And maybe if I sucked in my stomach a bit-

Enough of that. I turned away from the mirror, throwing a blanket over it. If I couldn't love the person I saw reflected at me, I wasn't going to give my own mind a chance to rip her to shreds. 

Only that sort of backfired, because I had to look back in the mirror to do my make-up. I didn't even bother with eyeliner; I didn't need more people telling me I looked like a raccoon. I stuck with mascara and a reddish-pink lipgloss, then dabbed on some blush. That was it; I wanted to keep the face in the mirror recognizable. 

I put on high heels and made it two steps out the door before giving up and swapping them for more comfortable black wedges. 

Time to party.

The Styles had a beautiful home that radiated a polished aura I wouldn't normally have pegged on Harry, with his ripped jeans, worn bandanas, and all the grease stains he always got from working at the autoshop. Just went to show me not to judge people.