Chapter 45

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Chapter 45

Heart

My heart is weak.

I heard the doctors. I heard my parents.

Congenital heart disease is one or more problems with the heart's structure that exist since birth. Congenital means that you're born with the defect. It can change the way blood flows through your heart.

Some vague memories suddenly flashed back. All the hospital appointments, all the medications back when I was a kid... But I wasn't really aware of it. I always knew that my body is weak and that I need to be careful all the time.

That's why I don't go to school before, I was home schooled. I can't go outside, that's why I don't really have friends. Sabi nila sheltered daw ako masyado at spoiled. Maarte raw ako at hindi kagaya ni Kuya Kairon. But it's because I'm always sick.

"My daughter undergone Cardiac Catheterization procedure when she was a child," I heard my Mom's voice. "We regularly visited a pediatric cardiologist. At first, these visits happen often, perhaps every month or two. Later, it was cut back to just once a year."

"We need to talk to her once she's awake. We need to know how often these chest pains occur and when did it come back, so we could check what treatment must be done. The treatment for a congenital heart defect depends on the type and severity of the defect. She may have severe defect that require extensive treatment," the Doctor said.

My eyes felt so heavy. I tried to open them slowly and the lights hurt my eyes. I roamed my eyes and everything was so white.

"Cali? Oh my Cali-bear..." Mom cried.

Agad siyang lumapit sa akin at panay ang iyak.

"My Princess, how are you feeling?" Dad asked calmly.

Pinagpahinga muna ako ng ilang saglit bago kausapin ng doctor. I told them that the chest pains and the shortness of breath started when the kidnapping incident happen. After that, it became so often. I actually thought that they were panic attacks because of the trauma, but now I realized that it's not.

I will undergo a series of test so that we'd know what treatment or surgery must be done.

Mom was very emotional. Back on her teenage years, she suffered a heart disease and undergone a heart transplant. Alam kong sobrang natatakot siya para sa 'kin... I'm scared too. I'm really really scared.

But I'm praying that mine won't be that severe. Iniisip ko pa lang na ooperahan ako, parang naiiyak na ako.

Si Daddy naman ay hindi umaalis sa tabi ko. Alam ko na he's trying not to show that he's sad because he want him to be our source of strength.

"Where's Kuya?" I asked my parents.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit tinanong ko pa.

I know my Kuya so much. I know that he's sad and mad about this, kaya hindi 'yon bibisita. Hindi ako no'n kakausapin. Kuya Kai hate to show his weakness. Gano'n siya. He'll only visit me once he had recovered from his feelings.

The longer I stay here in the hospital, the more I feel weak. Why do I feel like this? I don't know if this is just a mindset, but I never felt my body this weak.

I woke up hearing some familiar voices. My eyes were still closed and they felt really, really heavy.

"Why it had to be my sister? Why it had to be Cali? Ako na lang sana..." I heard my brother's voice.

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