Wasting Your Love on Me(Sanegiyuu)

Twenty Two

It's late, later than he's usually out these days, and by the time he's standing in front of the familiar apartment belonging to his other best friend, his eyes are irritated from crying and his body shakes with unbridled emotion.

He swears he only hesitates for a moment before knocking, or more like pounding, on the door to the Kocho's apartment, the anxiety of waiting making him feel sick.

Finally, after what feels like forever, Kanae answers the door. Kanae, sweet wonderful Angel Kanae Kocho. She looks Sabito up and down, her face scrunching up as she realizes just how worse for wear he is, and immediately opens the door for him.

She doesn't ask to know why's he's there, so he's sure she knows. He briefly wonders why she let him in if she knows, but he disregards that as he follows her into the living room where Kanao sits on the couch. Kanae walks up to her youngest sister, whispering something in her ear.

He feels Kanao's stare directed at him for a moment, her icy violet eyes raking over his disheveled body before she turns back to Kanae and nods, pulling herself off her seat and heading to the front door. He watches as she begins to put her shoes on, turning back to Kanae with a confused look.
She gives him a worried smile before turning her head towards just beyond the living room, staring tentatively at the door to Shinobu's room.
"Shinobu! Can you come out here?" She yells across the apartment, a muffled "yeah!" coming from behind the door.

Kanae moves to the front door as well, slipping on her sandals just as Shinobu walks out into the living room where Sabito stands. She freezes as she sees him, and he shrivels up when she inevitably glares at him, looking angry to have been ambushed.

Kanae clears her throat from behind Sabito, laughing awkwardly.
"Kanao and I are going out for dinner." Is all she says before ushering the youngest of the butterflies out the door, both scrambling to get away from the murderous tension floating between the remaining two.

As the door slams shut behind them, Sabito gulps as he realizes he's finally, truly alone with Shinobu for the first time in weeks.

He looks at her, willing her to turn her eyes to him, but she keeps them firmly trained to the floor. There's a long, pregnant pause, and then a sigh escapes Shinobu.

"What are you doing here?" She asks, finally turning her eyes up to look at him. It's an obvious question, the two have barely been able to be around each other without Giyu since karaoke night weeks ago.

And truthfully Sabito doesn't know, a laugh slipping past his lips. Its choked and wet, and he looks at his feet. He really has no clue what he's doing, but he thinks about how Giyu asked him why he never said anything, why he never did anything, and the words hit him like a slap in the face as they replay in his mind like a record on repeat.

Why didn't he? He's known about her feelings since high school, liked her since they met. It seemed like the dream scenario and yet here he stood, unable to meet her gaze as he trembles, so close to the breaking point he never knew existed in him.

The answer to his question was seemingly simple. He was scared. He always had been. From the day he'd mustered up to courage to talk to her and had gone and got himself punched square in shoulder was the day he was damned. She was never not on his mind, cozying up in his brain and staking her claim. She hadn't even realized she'd done it, but he was a goner from the very first words she'd spoken.

He loved her wholly. He loved her laugh, her snide remarks and patronizing lectures. He loved their violent games of footsie under the table and the way she'd look at him when she was tired, dough eyed and dazed. He liked the way she relied on him, he liked feeling needed by her. He wanted to be important to her, to matter to her.