"We kissed, like, three hours ago" said Jake.
"Yes, we did kiss... For reals" you said.
"For reals, reals" Jake said. "Listen, I know you said you don't want to date cops, but I really like you."
"I like you too" you said.
Seasons 3 and 4 of Brookly...
"Okay, squad, the funeral's at 3:00, followed by a reception at Shaw's Bar. I want you all on your best behaviour" said Terry.
"Yeah, and all eyes are gonna be on us because Frick and Frack here killed Captain Dozerman" said the Vulture, pointing at y/n and Jake.
"Hey, we accidently startled a man with a genetic heart condition. If you really think about it, his parents killed him" Jake said.
"All right, whatever" the Vulture said. "Look, there's a horse race going off in Dubai. I got serious money on it. Dismissed."
The Vulture left the briefing room.
"Oh, yeah, we should all check out that race" Jake said. He closed the door. "God. He is the worst captain we've ever had. He drew boobies on my bulletproof vest."
"He stared at me for ninety seconds while he ate a whole peach" said Rosa.
"He heard that I can speak Spanish, and he made me fire his housekeeper. She was Polish" said Amy.
"I have to work on cases with him sometimes, and he literally just sits around doing nothing" you complained.
"At least he doesn't practice his crane kicks with you" Charles said.
Charles was holding a metal can, with the Vulture getting ready to kick the can.
Ups! Ten obraz nie jest zgodny z naszymi wytycznymi. Aby kontynuować, spróbuj go usunąć lub użyć innego.
The Vulture tried to kick the can, but ended up kicking Charles in the chest.
The Vulture groaned. "I said not to move!"
"I didn't move!" said Charles.
"Listen, guys. Jake and I were talking last night" you said.
"Pillow talk alert! Set the scene. Spooning or face-to-face?" Charles asked.
"Charles" said Jake.
"Spooning" whispered Charles.
"Anyway, we came up with a plan. Jake is going to... befriend the Vulture so he lays off of us" you said.
"It's true. I'm gonna bro down with him. If everything goes according to plan, we should be beer pong doubles partners by the end of the week. Now, somebody get me a puka shell necklace. I'm going full douche" said Jake.
Ups! Ten obraz nie jest zgodny z naszymi wytycznymi. Aby kontynuować, spróbuj go usunąć lub użyć innego.
Jake walked into the Vulture's office. "Hey, 'sup, bro?"
"'Sup, Jake" said the Vulture.
"Got a little update for you on that Deberg assault case. Turns out the victim's wife was super hot" said Jake.
"Yeah, I read the file. She's a mom. Not interested" said the Vulture.
"True that" Jake said. "So listen, I've been thinking. We got off on the wrong foot here. And I believe it's 'cause we're just too damn similar."
"You do?"
"Absolutely. We both love premium tequila, Robin Thicke. Gots to have my puks" said Jake.
"Gots to" the Vulture said.
"And of course, most importantly: Nip slips" Jake said.
The Vulture laughed. "Let me ask you a question, Jake. You also like Okinawan martial arts? Because you left this in my back." He picked up a long metal stick. "What I'm saying, Einstein, is that you stabbed me in my back."
"How so?" asked Jake.
The Vulture pressed play on the laptop. Y/n's voice played from earlier. "We came up with a plan. Jake is going to... befriend the Vulture so he lays off of us."
"Busted. I knew that you were faking it. I'll bet you don't even like nip slips!" said the Vulture.
"So, what, you bugged the briefing room?" Jake asked.
"No, Scully butt-dialed me yesterday and he still hasn't hung up" the Vulture said, pointing out of the office.
Jake sighed. "Once again, Scully's butt is the downfall of this precinct."
"Look, Jake, I know that you and l/n are trying to take me down. You guys go home. You lay in bed together. You plot against me. Well, no longer. I want you to dump l/n, and that's an order" said the Vulture.
"What? You can't do that. It's completely against the rules" said Jake.
"Okay, Sonia Sotomayor. I would never break the rules. But what I could do, for totally 'unrelated reasons' is have you busted back down to a beat cop" the Vulture said.
"No, don't do that, all right? I can learn to love nip slips" Jake said.
"No, you either love them, or you don't. It's too late. You dump l/n, or you kiss that detective badge goodbye" said the Vulture. "Beat it."
---------------------
"What? He's ordering us to break up?" you asked Jake.
"Look, we can deal with this. We just need a new plan" said Jake.
"I got it. We lie, tell him we broke up, and then date in secret" you said.
"Great idea!" said Jake.
"Actually, I think I have a better plan" you said.
"Uh-huh" said Jake.
You gasped. "Captain Holt is here today."
"Yes, genius! He loves us, and he's got tons of sway in the department" said Jake.
"He'll tell the Vulture to back down" you said.
"Yeah, he'll be all..." Jake started speaking with an impression of Holt's voice. "Vulture, I must insist that you desist."
