"Smush, smush" sang Judy, massaging his face as y/n and Jake watched, confused. "Ooh, I still sound like an angel."
"Sure" said Jake.
"Thank God you were there, Peralta. I knew you wouldn't let your best friend die" said Judy.
"I'm still gonna arrest you. I just can't do that if you're dead" said Jake.
"Whatever you got to tell yourself. Baby steps. It's hard getting him out of his shell" said Judy to y/n.
Y/n sighed. "Tell me about it. Every time something emotional happens, he's like 'Noice, smort.' Completely ruins the moment."
"Okay, can we focus up here? We still don't know what your hitman looks like so we're gonna have to flush him out. Wait a minute. Where do the toilets on this boat go?" asked Jake.
"You don't want to know" answered Judy.
Jake gasped. "The pool?"
"Ocean" whispered Judy.
"Oh, that's even worse. That's where my shrimp live" Jake said.
"Anyways, he'll probably try to hit me at my show this afternoon. At least I'll die doing what I love: Getting people horny at sea" Judy said.
"Yeah. Yeah. That's gross" Jake said. "All right, here's the plan. We're gonna leave you alone on stage and dangle you as bait."
"Damn! Bait dangling?" Judy asked.
"If we're up on stage with you, it could spook him. We'll blend into the crowd and we'll take him down before he even gets to you" said y/n.
Judy sighed. "All right, I'll trust you. But if you're gonna blend in, you got to blend in."
A few minutes later, y/n and Jake walked out on to the deck wearing brightly colored Hawaiian shirts and sunhats.
"You two are looking good" said Judy as they stood outside the All Ages Piano Lounge.
"Really? I kind of feel like I'm Jimmy Buffett's tennis coach" said Jake.
"No, it's working. You know I had a major crush on Magnum P.I?" said y/n.
"Oh, should I grow a moustache?" asked Jake.
"Yeah, you should" said y/n.
"Actually, I can't. I'm physically incapable. I shouldn't have suggested that. Should we go in?" said Jake.
----------------------
Judy started to play the piano. "Ladies and gentlemen, widows and widowers, welcome to the All Ages Piano Lounge adults only show. I'm Horatio Velveteen."
"Dope name" said Jake.
"Mm" said y/n, nodding in agreement.
"This is a little song I wrote myself, called 'Rosa, Rosa, Rosa.' Goes like this" said Judy. He began to sing. "Rosa, Rosa, Rosa, Rosa, Rosa."
"It's so crowded in here, and the lighting is way too sexy to see anything. Come on" whispered Jake.
"Okay" whispered y/n, following Jake through the crowd.
"Right there on the floor is the man you're looking for. He's right in front of you" sang Judy.
Jake pointed to a random man.
"A little bit to the left" sang Judy.
Jake moved to his left.
"My left, my left, my left, my left" sang Judy and Jake moved to Judy's left. "Come on this way. He's in a red shirt. No, not the Asian dude. I'm talking about a bright red shirt. That's the man you're looking for. That's the man you've been looking for."
YOU ARE READING
Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfiction"We kissed, like, three hours ago" said Jake. "Yes, we did kiss... For reals" you said. "For reals, reals" Jake said. "Listen, I know you said you don't want to date cops, but I really like you." "I like you too" you said. Seasons 3 and 4 of Brookly...
