thinking 'bout you | lando norris

ONE

[ i've been thinking 'bout you,
yeah i've been missing you ]

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AVIA

"I had written myself notes. I only have five minutes. I didn't want to spend the entire time rambling."

"It's okay if you ramble." A woman said.

"No, it's not."

"Yes it is."

"No, it's not." I laughed. "I don't....It's right here, so...um. I was online yesterday and a bunch of people had posted links to this infographic and -- does everyone know what that is? It's a cartoon that illustrates statistics. So, uhm, this infographic was about marriage and it said that if your spouse dies, it feels like loosing £308.780 a year, which sounded crazy to me at first, like how do you....how do you put a pounds amount on death? Like, how is that even a thing with a price tag? Uhm -- then I started to think about what it would be like to loose £308.780 a year and it would feel like, like a problem you could never fix. It's an impossible amount of money to lose, uhm, I don't know if it's an exact number -- the 780 at the end feels a bit weird but I would say that my husband being dead, feels like the same impossible thing. That's what I got."

"Thanks for sharing." The other people chorused.

I was quick to put my hand up. "Okay, you're welcome!"

"You still have a few minutes."

"I don't really want them." I say, pursing my lips.

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LANDO

It hasn't been that long since Caleb's passing. I had already sent Avia my condolences even though I knew they wouldn't take away the pain she's feeling of loosing the love of her life.

When McLaren offered me a seat for the 2019 season, I was of course nervous but meeting my teammate Caleb made me forget all my nerves. He brought out the best in me and as the season progressed, it was not hard to tell of the amazing friendship that me and him had.

Along with being admired from other drivers on the grid, the Tv presenters and even the fans, I came to realise that everyone loved us together.

When it came down to racing -- what can I say? He was fast, obviously due to him having more experience than me. I learnt so many things from him and I wish to had learnt more if God didn't decide to take him away from us.

I also met his fiancé Avia and later on during the season they got married and I could see just how happy she made him. Avia was kind and beautiful, and I remember the stories Caleb used to tell me of when he would get butterflies from being around her. They were so in love and it showed.

I missed him. A lot.

Now as the 2020 season was approaching, I obviously needed a teammate and thats why I was currently sat in the MTC, waiting for my new teammate, Carlos Sainz Jr.

__________

AVIA

*alarm blaring*

I heard my mother come into the room to turn off my alarm. She proceeded to turn on the lamp as I felt her next to the bed. "Up. Yes, c'mon. You work at 7."

Great. Work. Since Caleb's passing, my mum helped me look for a job. We finally settled on a PR manager for the Formula 1 team Mclaren. As the 2020 season was nearly here, today was the day where I would be meeting the drivers and finding out which one I would be managing.

I thought working in Formula 1 would bring me closure and make me feel closer to Caleb as I knew he loved his job. Despite him being away most of the time, I always waited for him. I always thought being with a Formula 1 driver would be difficult as they were away for most of the year but for me it was surprisingly easy.

I had a blog which I wrote for and being around Caleb gave me masses of inspiration. Now on the other hand, I lost all inspiration. I had to quit my job as I couldn't possibly find the motivation or energy to write anymore and I was thankful when McLaren accepted my job application. A lot of the teams and drivers knew me due to mine and Caleb's relationship, a lot even came to our wedding and when Caleb passed, they all sent their condolences which I was thankful for but I knew they would stop in like a week. It wasn't their fault they had racing to focus on, so I couldn't blame them.

I groaned into the covers. "No no no moans." My mother said as she tried to pull the covers off of me. I opened up my eyes and grabbed onto them. "Hey, stop! I'm not wearing pants."

She gave me a look of disbelief. "Your body literally came out of my vagina, do not talk to me about pants. Come on." She pulled on the covers even more but then let go.

I sighed. "I don't wanna be awake." I whispered.

"I know sweetie, but no one wants to be awake. That's how mornings work. Here, here's those pants you were so worried about." She dropped them onto the bed before exiting my bedroom.

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As I made my way into Caleb's room, a chorus of wake up's left my lips. I tiptoed in and positioned myself on top of him.

I could see his eyes open as he reached for his phone to check the time. "I'm going back to sleep."

"Nuh uh. You need to take a shower. You do not smell good enough to be around my family."

"I smell okay."

"I promise you don't smell okay."

He rolled over to face me. "I didn't know I was coming with."

My face dropped. "You don't wanna come?"

"I-it's just been a long week, I'd thought I'd take the morning to sleep."

I gently rubbed his arms. "Please Caleb. I need you. You always make things better with my family. I don't but you do."

"Come on that's not true about you." He says whilst looking into my eyes.

"Please, get uppppppp." My voice croaked in his ear.

He finally sat up. "Thank you!" I smiled.

I nestled my head into the crook of his neck as he croaked out an 'I love you.' I smiled. "I love you too. I'll love you more after you brushed your teeth."

"Yeah how about we try all that again?"

I laughed. "I just love you and nothing else?"

"There it is."

I playfully rolled my eyes before planting a kiss on his lips.

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