Dear diary
I know, this is kinda pathetic. But I need an outlet right now. College is so stressful. I thought it would be easier, no drama. No fake friends. No guys that break my heart over and over again.
But the worst part is, I still love him. But I hate him so much.
I guess when they say that the line between hat and love is so close is no lie. Since the first day, he's still on my mind. He's still in everything I do.
Whenever I do something I still think if he would hate it, or encourage me to keep moving.
But I have to remember, he was only my teen love.
I'm not seventeen anymore.
I've grown up, or I would like to think that I have.
I've gotten new friend, but Devon will still be my best friend even though high school was a bitch to us both.
I still think about her.
And you don't know how many times I've thought about reaching out to her.
I'm still a bit fearful of failure.
I don't think that'll ever leave me.
But I'll try to be better.
My second stead of college has been hectic. My roommate and I aren't really talking as we used too. But I think it will get better when to go on spring break to Miami.
I just need to get out of my own head.
But I gotta go, I have class in half an hour—and I can't stay in the library anymore.
Love and kisses Za.
YOU ARE READING
𝐵𝐸𝐹𝑂𝑅𝐸 𝑈𝑆|| 𝐁𝐖𝐖𝐌Ⓒ ||✔︎
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