The scintillating smile that you had been thinking existed for you; the gifts that you had been thinking brought for you; the love in those blazing eyes that you had been thinking enkindled for you; everything were lie. You were living in a lie.
A...
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"Jihee!" I shout from the entrance after spotting my friend. I wave my hand in the air gaining Jihee's attention along with the people from the restaurant. With sparkling eyes I head to Jihee who is smiling wide after seeing me.
"God, Y/n I miss you so much," she doesn't even let me sit and engulfs me into her arms. I mirror her action by wrapping my arms around her frame. At this point I care less about the people who are giving us weird stares for our childish act. I just want to enjoy the company of my friend. "So, tell me how is your life going?" she asks after plopping herself on the chair. I take a deep breath to calm myself down from that hugging and jumping bout. "Pretty much good," I reply shortly. "What about you? How was your two months vacation in Canada, huh?" I question her back, wiggling my eyebrows. "Girl, that wasn't a vacation at all. Those two months were hectic. My father wanted me to catch up with his business and all. So, I attended the training course in his company situated in Canada," she explains in one go. You sip from your drink,"Living in Canada is still a vacation for me. So, did you like the job?"
"To be honest, I really like it. I find this whole work cool,"she leans against the chair, a fond smile spreads on her lips as soon as she talks about her work. "Now, your turn. How's your marriage life? I really missed the opportunity to attend your wedding ceremony," she makes a sad face, but her eyes showing curiosity. "Well, it's going fine. We both are working on our relationship," I fiddle with my fingers. Curiosity overtakes her as she inquires again,"And your husband? How's he towards you?" I avoid her eyes and keep fiddling with my fingers,"He's nice towards me. Really nice. He's generous, kind and loving. He's a perfect husband." The last words make me grin sheepishly.
"And?" she inclines herself, resting her elbows on the table. Getting confused I copy her query,"And?" "What about love? Dumbo," she flicks my forehead gently which is a habit of her whenever she's pissed off on me. "L-love? I don't think that's appropriate to say that our bond holds love," I hang my head lower, focusing my eyes on my fingers. "What? Just explain properly,"she knits her brows together, making a straight face.
I take an another deep breath before spilling everything to her,"I mean to say that our relationship carries care, compassion and empathy. But love is something another level. We get along with each other well but love will be extravagant to say." "Fine then. Do you love him?" her question makes my eyes pop out. "I-I don't k-know," getting temporized I falteringly speak. "Okay then, what do you feel about him?" she further inquires, liking to understand my whole circumstance. She's apparently interested in my complicated love life.
"I f-feel very joyous when I'm around Jin. His presence g-gives me glee itself. But I also feel nervous when h-he's close to me. I feel b-butterflies in my stomach at his touch. I always like to spend more time with him. I like him to that point that I can hurt myself to keep him safe. All this one month has spent like this. Everytime I can only think about him," with shaky voice I spat, lessening the burden that has crept to my whole body. A small smile makes its way to my lips as I think about Jin. To be honest, I'm withstanding the same circumstances similar to a high schooler who finds her first love.
"Woah, that's quite long to proceed. But in conclusion, you love him. You love him very much," she declares putting an end to this topic. I shriek at her statement,"No, it's not like that. You're misinterpreting the thing." "So, you wanna say that you don't love her?" she raises one of her eyebrow with a deadpan face, taking my words in other way. I swallow very hard,"I-I didn't mean it like that. I like him but love... Won't it be too much to say that?" "Y/n, my dear it won't be too much. It's just appropriate to say that. Trust me, you're in love with him and I've more knowledge about love than you," she grins blurting the truth. However, the last words seem taunt to me. I also have sufficient knowledge about love.
"Even if I love him, I don't see the same things in Jin's eyes. He doesn't reciprocate my feelings. All I see in his eyes are respect towards me. He sees me as a responsibility. It has already been more than one month, yet he feels nothing about me," I give voice to my complication that has been bugging me lately. Despondency is what I could feel from Jin's comportment towards me which I always conceal from him.
Jihee takes my hand in her,"Y/n my dear friend. Maybe he needs some time to be sure about his emotions. Someone needs more time to realize their emotions whereas someone doesn't need that much of time. So, just give him a little space and then you'll see he'll be head over heels for you sooner or later ." She isn't entirely wrong, she has gotten some points. Yet how much time he needs to acknowledge me as his lover. I divert my gaze out of the window, getting lost in deep thoughts.
