Teen Titans One-Shots

The Bat Bros (Part 3)

   By the time the Teen Titans made it to the pizza place, the four bat-kids had already claimed the largest table in the joint, and each of them had their own personal pizza.

   "Took you long enough," Red Hood garbled between bites, his helmet replaced with a signature red and white domino mask so he could eat.

"Who won your race?" Beast Boy asked, ignoring the second eldest bat's rude comment. The three younger Gothamites glared at the eldest, who leaned back in his chair with a self-indulgent smirk.

"Only the greatest Robin of them all," the Titan leader grinned and took a bite of his pizza.

"You only won because you knew the layout of the city better," the youngest huffed with crossed arms.

Red Hood rolled his eyes behind his mask, "Not to mention you're the only one out of us that's been flying before he could walk."

"Ah, come on, guys, stop being sore losers. At least I paid for the pizza this time. I could've made you losers pay for your own."

Red Robin waved him off dismissively as he slipped something that looked suspiciously like a caffeine pill into his drink, "You love us too much."

    The eldest Robin shrugged but didn't deny it as he bit down on a thin slice of cheese pizza. The others soon fell into various conversations about any random assortment of topics.

That is, until Red Hood asked a strange question.

    "Hey, Demon, you did remember to feed Batcow before we left, right?"

   "Of course, I did," the younger Robin replied haughtily. His older namesake stopped he was doing.

    "Bat-cow?! B let you keep a cow?"

  "Yes, father is quite supportive of my taking care of animals. Why are you so upset?"

   The Titans leader stood and clenched his fists, "It's nothing. I need to make a call," he said a little too sweetly and strode out of the pizza parlor. The three remaining batboys crowded around Cyborg.

   "Hey tin man, you've got that super strong listening device right? Let's see what Goldie's so upset about."

    Cyborg only hesitated a few seconds before complying. He was curious too, and he also didn't want to get pulverized by Robin's extremely violent little brothers. After a moment of static, the team leaned in close as they listened to Robin's side of the conversation while simultaneously looking out the large window to follow his facial reactions.

   "A cow," he hissed into the phone, "You let Dami have a cow?! B, how could you?!"

   The team shared a confused look as their leader's eyes narrowed in a glare. His voice, on the other hand, sounded almost hurt.

    "I don't care if it teaches him compassion, you said that no animal larger than a dog was allowed after I asked for Zitka. You're picking favorites."

   The three bat kids "oh"ed as they realized what this was about. No wonder their big bro was so upset. All of them knew about Zitka.

   "Stop making excuses. An elephant could fight crime better than a cow. And Zitka is especially smart. She could probably solve one of Eddie's puzzles if she could give it a try. Can a cow do that? No."

    There was a pause as the teen wonder listened on the other end.

   "What I'm saying is, whenever you get back from your mission," he emphasized the last word with air quotes, "you're going to meet me at Gotham Zoo with your checkbook. Don't make me drag the League into this. You know Aunt Diana and Uncle Clark will side with me immediately. And if you still feel like arguing, I will bring in Agent A, and we both know that he wouldn't appreciate me having to do so."