Ghost of You

s i x

The mission was an absolute, complete and total failure. 

I was sitting on one of the bench seats on the right side of the jet. It was the only seat near a window other than the cockpit and given that I never got my pilot's license I figured taking that spot wouldn't have been one of my greatest ideas. I had been standing in the corner for the first thirty minutes of flight time, waiting to see if someone wanted it but nobody else had taken it so I figured someone might as well enjoy the view. Clint had wisely taken over the pilot's chair although I had no idea where he was taking us. We had been told that in the aftermath of our disaster of an attempt to take down Ultron, the people had pretty much named us public enemy number one. I could practically hear my Dad tutting and shaking his head as he prepared his "I told you so" speech.

We were sailing just above the clouds. I couldn't help but notice how perfect they were. Large, fluffy, and a brilliantly sparkling white, like some sort of children's three-dimensional pop-up book clouds ripped off the page and plastered in the blue canvas. Given the solemn atmosphere inside the jet it felt wrong that something so beautifully flawless could exist in the presence of our broken mess, as if the earth was taunting us and all our failure with something so pure and whole.

I let my eyes fall from the window, lifting my head off the wall and turning back to face the problem in front of me. I don't think any of the team had been expecting the level of combat they had experienced. Not only had Ultron shown up at the navy yard but so had the Maximoff twins. I had been sitting on the jet the whole time, trying to gain some sort of understanding of what was happening from listening to the comms. I'm not sure if I'd ever felt so useless. I wasn't normally someone who was itching for a fight, to be truly honest I hated combat of any sort. But in that moment I felt that if Steve hadn't locked the doors of the jet from the outside, I was sure I would have immediately broken my promise not to leave. Then again, I don't think my being there would have been able to do much to help when people as powerful as they all are were tearing apart at the seams. 

Even so, I knew the frustration I had felt at the futility of me not being able to do my job could not compare to the way the rest of the group felt. The Maximoff girl, Wanda... she had done something to them, messed with their heads somehow. My biggest concern was Bruce. The girl had somehow triggered him into his hulk state causing everyone's worst fear, civilian casualties, to come to life. He was currently slumped on the floor, his hair a curled mess and his eyes distraught. Nat was sitting next to him looking similarly horrified by the events that had transpired. I saw her whisper to him occasionally and if it hadn't been for the seriousness of the situation, the interaction would have been incredibly cute. I loved that even though they had experienced something so traumatic, they were both still looking out for eachother.  

Tony and Thor were similarly quiet and reserved for the majority of the flight. It was strange, not hearing Tony's endless sarcastic quips or Thor's booming laugh. I knew the change in their attitudes would not last forever but it was jarring to see the difference all the same. The only one whose attitude hadn't visibly changed was Steve. He was sitting on a bench in the back corner of the jet looking reserved, sullen and pissed off. If I hadn't known better I would have said it was just a regular Tuesday. 

I stood up from my seat, having every intention of going to talk to Tony and yet somehow my feet were moving in the opposite direction. It was as if some evil puppet master had taken over control of my body, pulling my strings until I was standing right in front of Steve. Then he dragged the strings to the seat next him and superglued my butt to the bench.

He turned slightly to look at me, his eyes icy cold, once again freezing me in my place. An eyebrow raised as he stared at me expectantly, waiting for me to speak. Only I didn't even know why I was sitting here with him.