Ghost of You

t w e n t y - f i v e

"Don't sit there, you'll block my view!"

My hand froze on the rim of the chair I had just pulled out. My mom was already sitting at our kitchen table next to the window and I had gone to sit next to her with my back facing the window before she stopped me short.

I turned around, peaking out the window, then back to my mom. 

"What view? All I see is construction work on the house next door?" I asked, looking at her confused.

"Exactly. You're going to block all of the hot men in their construction uniforms." She said as if it was completely obvious, then added in a whisper. "Sometimes when it's really hot outside they take their shirts off."

I burst out laughing, falling into the chair across from the ridiculous and hilarious woman I call my mother. I think it was the first time I had laughed in days.

"I feel like this is the part where I'm supposed to remind you that you're married." I teased.

"I'm just looking. I'd never touch." She shrugged indifferently. "What your father doesn't know won't hurt him."

Despite her apparent newfound fondness of ogling topless construction workers, there was no doubt in my mind that my mom would never stray outside of her marriage. I wasn't sure about that second part though. I was actually fairly certain that there were many things that my father didn't know that would hurt him if he ever found out. It seemed likely, for instance, that he would be completely outraged if he ever found out about the nature of my relationship with Steve Rogers. That would be the utmost form of betrayal.

"What time do you leave tomorrow?"

My mother's question pulled me away from my thoughts and I did my best to clear my mind and focus on my time with her, wanting to make good use of it.

"Early. Ross said the jet leaves for Vienna at six."

"Oof." My mom cringed. "That sucks."

I nodded in agreement. 

Yes, going to Vienna to see all of my old teammates sign away their right to choose how and when they want to fight, all the while pretending to support the Accords themselves, would totally suck. Going at six o'clock in the morning was just the icing on the poorly made and totally burnt cake.

I'm not entirely opposed to the idea of the Accords as a whole. When you think about it, keeping the Avengers as a privatized organization could never have been a long term thing. There had to be some sort of written connection to the law and government. I just didn't think that forcing the Accords on each of the super-powered individuals and giving them a fucked up ultimatum, was the right way to go about things. It was going to make things messy. It was going to turn people who were heroes into criminals. All of these things and Ross wasn't even going to make sure it went smoothly, which they inevitably wouldn't. No, he had decided I should be the lucky employee to go to Vienna on his behalf. No doubt this was another test he had concocted to test my loyalty. 

"Well you be safe while you're there." My mom said in a much more serious tone. "Your father seems to think there might be some backlash from your old employers."

"My father seems to think a lot of things lately." I muttered, not being able to stop myself.

My mom reached forward, her hand grabbing mine from across the table, any thought of construction workers long gone. 

"I know things between you two were a bit rocky for a while. It means a lot to me, that you're willing to work through it." She said, eyes glistening.

My heart seemed to break with her words. I don't think you could find a heart more pure than hers in a million mile radius. It was because of that smile on her face, that hope in her eyes that I'd never tell her the truth. That I was beginning to feel like my father and I's relationship was irreparable. It was the same reason I didn't tell her the context of the text messages he had sent me, the words he had said to me outside of that compound, or the daggers that he had forced into my hands. It would break her heart. My father may not have cared about that, but I still did.