With Hearts to Hear| ✔

|04|

Killian was restless. He had met up with a woman, Stephanie, who was in charge of overseeing things in the human town on Adam's behalf. She was very efficient, and well prepared, as he showed him around the latest construction site that had been undertaken as part of the expansion project.

It was a hospital, the town having only had a small clinic before, and granted it was impressive. However, there was a small niggling in the back of the man's mind that he couldn't shake, one that had been weighing on his shoulders like Atlas carrying the heavens since he had left the hotel room that morning.

He knew that it was her, because he was no longer by her side. Every so often his mind would drift back to her, to the night they shared. It was now burned permanently in his mind, an imprint he would never get rid of. It wasn't even the sex, (and even that had been incredible,) it was just her. It was the sound of her voice when she spoke, when she sang, the ink penned on her skin, the smell of her shampoo and the little beauty mark she had on her thigh.

He had to force himself to stop; with every wave of her his need to be beside her, inside her, grew. It wasn't until he smelled blood that he realised he had clenched his fists so tightly that he had broken his own skin in an attempt to stop himself from physically going to find her.

It was insane; he was insane. It was terrifying; he had spent his whole life so sure that it wouldn't matter if he found his mate or not. His pack did not necessarily believe in the moon Goddess, and thus did not believe in the bond of soulmates. Killian had always been taught that it was just symbolic of the difference in relationship between the pack and the person that you chose to be your mate. In fact, Killian had not seen a true soulmate couple until Adam and Leora. Was this what it had felt like for them? Did they also feel as though they were going out of their mind?

For a second he almost wished that he hadn't found her, because Killian couldn't believe that he could ever get used to feeling like that. Guilt washed over him, the thought pushed back because he knew that he didn't really want that, not really. Even with how strange it all was, and admittedly slightly frightening he couldn't- wouldn't- give up what he had found with Rachel for anything. How could he? How could one willingly go back to living in black and white, when they finally understood what it meant to live in full, vibrant colour?

He had recently seen the other Alpha's find their mates; first Adam, then Vincent and then to find Seth and Orion had been together for their whole lives... Killian was amazed by it all. It hadn't escaped his notice how much better off they all were for it. His parents were also an example of what it was like to mate with someone who wasn't your soulmate. It was true that the majority of the time they were happy together, but Killian knew that there was always something missing between them, something you could only have with a mate.

He was starting to think that the things they had taught him, the things they taught the pack, weren't entirely the way that they had made it out to be. His brows furrowed, not wanting to think about the implications of that just yet; he just wanted to get back to spending time with his mate. Or better yet, thinking of a way to convince her to stay with him.

"Alpha Killian? You are listening right?" Stephanie's voice broke him out of his stupor.

"Sorry yes," Killian cleared his throat. First he'd have to focus on the work in front of him, then he'd think about winning Rachel over. "You were telling me what this wing will be used for?"

***

Rachel had an extra pep in her step when she came through the front door. Even though they had been together a few hours earlier, Rachel couldn't wait to see Killian again for their date that evening.