[37] Little Pink Envelope

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I walk Douglas to his car and say goodbye. He has to leave and go babysit Gracie. Leaning through the window, I kiss Douglas and tell him, "Give Gracie a hug for me."

"Sure. Are we still on for later?" He asks, reminding me of the plans he discussed earlier. "Gracie wants to binge eat and watch movies all night. She's been working on your birthday present all week."

"Yes, obviously I want to do that. Sounds like fun, but I just want to wind down and relax, maybe take a shower, too." I run a hand through my greasy hair. "Definitely take a shower. But after that, I'm all yours."

He smirks. "I like the sound of that."

I roll my eyes. "Sure you do."

Douglas starts backing out of the driveway. "Alright, just text me when you're on your way over." He waves and honks twice.

Heading back inside, I make a detour to the kitchen before the bathroom for a shower, and sort through the pile of mail for my acceptance letter to put away. A little pink envelope slips through the stack and falls on the floor. Hmm, I didn't notice that earlier. As I bend down to pick it up, my eyes glance on the return address and they widen. It's from Mom. A birthday card, I assume. On time, like always, she has been for the past three years. There's one for Tyler, and speaking of. I grab my phone and call him.

"Hey. What's up, Ads?" Tyler whispers and I remember he's at the movies with Tiana.

"Sorry, I forgot you were at the movies."

"No, no. It's fine. Is something wrong? Are you okay?"

I nod and say, "Yeah, I'm fine. Umm, I got a letter. From Mom."

"What?" His voice is so quiet.

"It was mixed in the stack of mail Uncle Frank grabbed earlier. You know, I have to admire her consistency," I joke.

"Are you going to open it?"

I grab the envelope and shake it in my hand. "Should I? I haven't even opened the hundred others she sent. They're sitting in a dusty shoe box in my closet."

"Why not?" He says, adding, "You opened Dad's present and it turned out to be just what you wanted."

I reach for the pearl necklace around my neck and smile. "I guess you a have a point. Oh, and there's a letter here for you, too."

"I'll look at it later. Gotta go, Addy. Bye."

"Bye." I hang up. Ignoring the desperate need for a shower, I head upstairs to my room instead. The one room I've tried avoiding ever since That Night. My hand's tight on the doorknob as I push the door open. It's cold and bare and empty in here, like how I feel most days. I long for the nostalgia I lost. I walk over to the closet and stand on my toes to reach the top shelf, grabbing the dusty shoe box heavy with old birthday cards, postcards, unread letters, and sad memories. Dust flies in my face as I blow on the box and I wave a hand around, coughing. "Stupid dust bunnies." I sit at my desk and casually look out the window, seeing Vanessa and her parents walking up their driveway. It's crazy to think we aren't best friends anymore. You think you know and trust a person. Vanessa and I make eye contact for a solid five seconds and I wonder if she feels the same as I do.

I stand up and shut the curtains. Time to let go and move on, Addy. Focused on the shoe box instead, I lift the lid and pull out everything, separating into three piles: birthday cards, junk, and unread letters. It's hard to believe curiosity didn't get the best of me. For the first time in forever, I let myself be curious and I open each letter, starting from the beginning. A lot has changed in three years, including Mom's handwriting. Her cursive is more clean and precise. She mentions things I only remember telling Dad and I wonder how she knows. I set aside random five and ten dollar bills, stickers, magazine clippings of my favorite actor, Jensen Ackles, and strangely for some reason leaves, 'because they're shaped like hearts', Mom wrote on the sticky note. I grab the pink envelope from today and rip it open before I change my mind. There's a twenty dollar bill, along with a handwritten letter with coffee stains.


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