My Darling Choir Girl

Chapter 8

I stayed away from church for a month. I couldn't go back there. Not yet. Pamela hasn't contacted me since that day we spoke outside my place. I asked her to take a month to think things through and decide if she wants to pursue something with me or if she just wants me around to dote on her. She seemed convinced that she does want something with me; she just doesn't know what. I have been there. I get that. So, I told her to go figure it out on her own because she would hurt me more if she took me on the road to discovery with her, only to realize that this is not something she wants.

My penance for giving her time is that I am stuck in my thoughts, wondering how this will go. This isn't my first rodeo. I am familiar with this territory. I am sad to say I have put someone in this territory. It sucks being on either end of it. I haven't seen Sally since that day either. She was great in bed, but I don't suppose feelings are her cup of tea. Which is fair. If I wasn't a very emotional person, I wouldn't be where I am right now. I fall in love too quickly.

I decide to have a bath and watch a movie while I soak the stress of my dilemma away. I grab a bottle of royal red wine on my way to the bathroom because why not. I was barely in the bathtub for ten minutes when my doorbell rang. I groan in annoyance. I don't feel like having company right now. Maybe they will go away if I don't answer.

Alas, the doorbell rings three more times. Whoever they are, they are very relentless. I grab a towel and wrap it around myself, not caring to wipe the surds off my body as I grudgingly stomp my way to the door. I open it and find myself staring at Pamela.

"Hi," I say as I feel all the irritation and indignation evaporate.

She doesn't respond. She just openly gives my body a thorough assessment while licking her lips. I clear my throat and open the door wider to let her in. My movement seems to break her trance. She walks in and takes a deep breath before following me to the living room.

"Have a seat. I am just going to rinse off and get some clothes on."

"You don't have to. I don't mind you the way you are now. Stay like that."

"Ha-ha. Funny. I will be right back."

When I return to the living room, I find her sitting comfortably on the couch. She looks at my new attire and purses her lips in displeasure. I smile at that.

"Soo...how have you been?" I ask genuinely.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too."

"I know what I want. But before I ask you to be mine, I want to say I am so so sorry for the way I handled my post-coital panic moment."

"Post-coital?" I ask while laughing.

"Yes. Post-coital. That sounds horrible, but I don't know what else to call it. Briar, I like you. A lot! I enjoyed being with you the two times I had the honor to do so. I would like more than anything to take back what I did, but I can't. I panicked because I wasn't fully grounded in identity and my faith. I freaked out because I felt things for you that day in that office that were new to me. It kind of clarified all the doubts I had about being lesbian. I wasn't ready for that, and I hurt you in the process. For that, I am sorry."

"All is forgiven. Thank you for sharing with me."

"Let us get one thing straight right off the bat; I am not sharing you, so Molly, Polly, whatever her name is, has to go."

I burst out laughing at that. She knows Sally's name. I am confident that this is her way of expressing her detest for Sally.

"Sally hasn't been in the picture since I dropped her off at her place a month ago."

"Good. I am glad to hear that." She bites her lip as she looks at me. "Will you give me a chance to redeem myself and absolve my sins against you?"

"Ooo, when you put it like that, yes. We can't have you walking around with the weight of sin, now can we?"

"I sure hope not. It is heavy and achy. There are so many parts of my body that are throbbing in discomfort and need relief."

"You couldn't sing them away?"

"No. Even praying didn't work."

"Can you show me one place that feels achy?"

The enchantress points to her chest and pushes it forward, beckoning me to examine the issue. I simply cannot deny such a request. I grab her hand to lead her to my bedroom.

"My first aid kit is in here. Lay back and let me assess your body for this achy problem."

***