The Old Scars | Loki Hurt/Comfort

Sorry to Hurt You

Note: In this chapter, Y/N's powers as an Avenger are mentioned. I didn't specify those so you can imagine her having your favorite powers, abilities, or whatever you'd like :)

Y/N's POV:

"Y/N... who was here? And what did they see?"

"Oh, it was just Natasha."

"Romanoff? The Black Widow? Did she see anything?" Loki instantly asked, obviously uneasy. He knew very well how observant the ex-spy was.

"Yes, exactly. But I've pulled down your sleeves, so she didn't see the wounds. I just told her you had fainted while I was bandaging the cuts... and that's even the truth."

Loki sighed in relief and leaned back in my arms, but the next moment he flinched and sat back up again.

"It's no problem. You can lie here as long as you're comfortable."

His big eyes said something like 'really?' and I nodded, allowing myself a little smile. It would certainly make me feel better to know the reason for Loki's screams before had nothing to do with me.
But right now, at this moment, there was no need to trouble him with questions. If possible, I wanted to talk to Thor later today, not to tell him what happened, but just to ask him if there had been any for Loki traumatic events in their childhood. Or something like that, I wasn't sure yet, but there had to be some sort of trigger. If not, Loki may have had bad experiences in adulthood, but if so, I doubted anybody knew about them, considering his usual reticence.

Loki leaned back again and I was relieved to see he seemed to be himself again. His breathing was audible in the silence of the room, but it sounded calm now, nothing like the hurried gasps for air earlier today. Just when he was about to close his eyes, he nervously spoke up:

"I am sorry, I can't."

"What do you mean, you can't?" I asked bewildered, but Loki was already standing up, the torn pullover hanging on his shoulders.

He avoided my gaze, staring at the ground, nervously looking up from time to time. It took him some seconds to find an answer, but the one he gave didn't help my confusion.

"I... No... Just don't think about it."

He went back to his bedroom, a little bit clumsy on his feet. It made me sad to watch him go away, but of course, I'd get it if he needed some time for himself and I was ready to give him that time. Still, I couldn't help worrying about the state he was in. Loki appeared to have another side, one I hadn't been shown before, and I had no idea if anyone else had seen it before.

The fact was, Loki had cut himself, and it had done immense damage to the skin on his forearms. On top, I was still hearing Loki screaming scary things in my mind.

"Loki, please, I don't want to push you, but maybe we can try it again. Or you wanna cuddle on your bed?"

Loki taking a moment to think about it seemed like a good signal.

"Yes, if you don't mind. But I'm sorry if I can't really... I don't know how to put it."

Now he was looking to the ground almost ashamed.

"That's totally OK, there's no need to hurry. We'll only do what you're fine with, no step further. You don't have to close your eyes, I am just trying to be there for you." I tried with a voice as calm as possible.

"Fine. Thank you for your patience with me." Loki finally agreed, then walked over to his bed, me doing the same.

I found it unsettling how he suddenly looked so down, so helpless and vulnerable. Not ever would I want to exploit that, but the ease with which he seemed to wear that confident facade even on days like today kind of shocked me. He's probably used to that, I mean, 1000 years of experience. No, I shouldn't make guesses about Loki's childhood without real information from Thor.