The Old Scars | Loki Hurt/Comfort

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Y/N's POV:

"What? What is happening?"

I could see his whole body, every single muscle, tense immediately. His posture had changed so very much since F.R.I.D.A.Y. had interrupted us.

Still pondering the best choice of words, I was shocked when Loki began shouting with a significantly louder voice.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?"

The need of an answer, a direct one, was predominant in his voice.

"OK, OK, OK. I am about to tell you, I just need to find the right wo-"

"Say it! I don't care about the way you put it! Please, tell me what I shall be prepared for, just tell me."

The way Loki's voice had gone from shouting demandingly to sobbing pleadingly... It was tearing at my heart with harsh, cold fierce. The urge to straightforwardly hug Loki and never let go of him again, the desire to provide safety to him whose needs had always been neglected, and the utopian wish to stop time for him seemed to grow exponentially, threatening to overthrow my most of the time rather rational thought process.

You need to stay calm if Loki can't.

He was visibly more than unable to stay calm. I feel bad putting it that way, but when looking at him sitting upright in this white hospital bed, knowing he had self-harmed so recently and destroyed a mirror only to be found lying in its glass shards, also regarding all the other scars I had seen now and what he told me a few minutes earlier, I couldn't help but only see an abandoned child with no one to turn to and no idea how to express or regulate its emotions sitting on the bed in front of me with watery eyes.

"Thor"

I offered Loki my open hands in a symbolic but also literally supportive gesture. After a few moments of hesitancy and confusion, Loki grabbed them carefully.

"What is he going to do? How is it going to affect me?"

I couldn't imagine what rollercoaster ride his emotions had to resemble right now. If I could only provide stability to him. A light hand massage certainly couldn't do that, but at least he seemed to relax a very small bit due to it. 

"Try to focus on your breath. Inhale. Exhale. Thor is currently on his way to this very room."

"He WHAT?!"

Loki's voice was shrill, followed by the almost coughing sound of gasps for air.

"No, Y/N, tell me that isn't true."

The despair was insufferable. He hoped for nothing more than this to be a joke, that much was clear. His chest was going up and down, up and down, but there was nothing calm about it. Eyes wide open and struck with fear.

Panicking again.

What  do I do now, what do I- how can I help- why did- FUCK!!

Keep it together, keep it together. Calm. Down.

Loki is already trying to push me off the bed with his feet, strampling to get rid of the blanket.

I'd love to comfort Loki, I'd love to say anything that would help him calm down, I'd love to help him. But who am I to do so when I'm just a nobody, here going down the same river right now?

I feel paralysis creeping up my extremities, my fingers already numb.

No! Do something! Do something! Help him, Thor will be here any moment. ACT! Take action, now, now, now, do something, anything!!

I can't. I sit and stare, not minding Loki's kicks against my thighs pushing me over the edge slowly. I want to help him, fight this battle with him-

* KLANG *

My phone hits the ground, bringing the tense atmosphere to a horrible climax.

Then not only silence, Loki's kicks also cease. A quietness far from peace. All those unspoken words in the air, the thoughts we'd never utter, and in between, everything we don't know about each other.

No, not yet. The time would come, the time for revelations and understanding, when all the pieces would be put together to form something clear. But our puzzles were incomplete, some pieces torn out, some broken, some we had never seen at all.

A single tear escapes my right eye.

It runs down to my chin, leaving that familiar wet and salty trail on my cheek.

Loki blinks twice, opens his mouth as if to speak, but there is no sound coming out of it.

Slowly, I start to feel my fingers again.

"Loki..."

It was only a whisper floating over to the God of Mischief.

"Y/N..."

He sounded so incredibly exhausted, so very tired.

I felt myself almost slipping off the edge of the bed, so I gathered all I had left and stood up. My knees shaky, I made another attempt to get closer to Loki. He allowed it.

"Are you OK, Y/N?"

"Yes, yes. Don't worry,"

I murmured in the usual way. His gaze was skeptical, not to say I was sure he knew that had been a bit farther from the truth than he would have liked. His expressions told me there was something he wanted to answer back, but after a few seconds, I was reminded of the reasons we had gotten into this... situation... at first.

"Thor. I'm sorry to remind you but he'll probably be here any moment."

"Yes"

He seemed surprisingly collected compared to his preceding reaction. That level of sudden self-control... Loki surely was experienced at this. How I hate Asgard's way of dealing, well, rather not dealing with true emotions and feelings.

"I have known him for more than a thousand years. I'm not too weak to get us out of this."

Us.

It was as if he was taking the duty off my shoulders, but simultaneously I realized he was putting its crushing weight onto his own.

They say you can't run when your legs are broken. Not for long, and afterwards, you fall twice as hard.

No, Loki, don't fall or I'll go down with you.

A/N:

Hello! I'm here to gladly tell you that, as you have already seen, I actually found the time to write another chapter during the last week! For me and my usually packed schedule, this is indeed a success. Also, I thought I'd like to have Thor show up in a new chapter, or else this one would have gotten way too long and you guys would have needed quite some patience once more.

Love you guys for your wonderful comments, all the votes, and every single read.

Next chapter in two weeks!