Shatter Me, Darling. (discontinued, possibly rewritten)

chapter 8 - SHIT SHIT SHIT

       It's late at night, the stars littered the sky and you can see them clearly from our little mountain-top.  Ametrine didn't ask where I went, she hasn't talked since I left the cave... did I do something wrong? is she mad at me? did I lose her trust?  I clasped my hand to my chest and watched her from inside the little pool, the colors looked dimmer and a bit frightening.

       "Ame?" She looked up from a book, 'Violet'. Her eyes watched my moves, she didn't join me in the pond like usual. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to upset you or anything I just needed some fresh air and I needed to be outside I just didn't want to be stuck here the whole time but I'm sorry if tha-"

       "Bunny, Bunny, Bunny, what are you talking about?" She slid her book onto the stone floor and crawled to the edge of the pool, tears slipped down my cheeks and dripped into the pool, changing its color to a brighter blue. "Why would I be upset that you left? I don't own you, you are free to move about as you like... why would you think that I'd be anything like him...?" She whispered laying on her chest and placing a hand on my cheek.

       "I just... I've never... he's the only..." I whispered trying to explain, Ametrine's English has gotten a lot better, though she is still extremely formal at times. She smiled softly and pulled me into a tender kiss, her glass skin still soft and warm, her hand cupping my face as I held on to her arms, my stomach turned and I felt... happy? ecstatic? elated? head over heels? she let me sink back into the water, but she moved her legs to slip into our personal bath.

       She gently pressed my body against the rocks, splashing some water and creating a chain reaction. I felt her chest against mine even in the water she towered over me, my face heated,  I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, letting her pull me up and hold me against the wall, her hand gently gripping my thighs as I wrapped my legs around her waist, she's so pretty... her lips moved with mine, she made sure not to hurt the baby and push too hard, she's so gentle.

      I felt my chest tighten, my mind went blank, it's starting to get hard to breathe, flashes of... that night... I cant. I'm sorry. I want to. I cant. I pulled away from the kiss and let my head touch her shoulder, my eyes stopped working properly. I need a knife.. a piece of glass.. anything... I need to bleed.

      "Bunny... don't do that... it isn't good for you or the baby, I'm right here... I've got you." She whispered, swimming away from the wall and stepping up the side stairs, she never let go before moving a luscious curtain, she made this for me... She set me down on the bed and gently kissed my forehead. "I'm going to remove anything you could use to hurt yourself.. okay?" I nod and let her remove little things and hide them in a cubby.

      I curled my legs to my chest and rocked my body to and forth, I need to calm down... I'm perfectly fine, I'm perfectly safe, nothing wrong, everything's okay, Lake. I felt her wrap her arm around my cocoon of fear, she gently pats my head, humming a lullaby, she kept her body close, gently moving me to lay down, the bed was soft and fluffy, the pillows cool to the touch, she pulled up the white covers and laid beside me, her eyes asking for permission. I pulled her close and buried my face into her chest. despite being made of glass, her chest was soft and felt much like a pillow

       " what are five things you see Bunny?"

        " White, you... the crystals, the pillows..... how clear your skin is....."

       She softly smiled, "four things you can touch?"

       "The mattress, your chest, the pillows, the baby."

      "Three things you can hear, Bunny?"

      "The water, your voice, footsteps"

       "two things you can smell, honey-bunny."