Indie and Sawyer's Lockdown Blues

Day 21...

SAWYER

I saw her eyes as I called her Indiana.

I can't believe I almost made such a beautiful human being cry, again.

There was something about her that I had never stopped loving about her, no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I tried to listen to her mother, and her siblings who I was scared to lose.

It was her I was scared to lose the most though, in those months she avoided me after the prom situation, I was lost.

I ended up not going to the prom at all, crying all night and for weeks more at how her mother had put me in such a bad place as a child and how she made me hurt the girl of my dreams.

I would set a notification from the cameras every time she came near my room or listen for when she would come near my room so I could pretend to hate her because she needed to stay away from me, I was bad for her and as much as I wanted her in my arms again, I'd hurt her too much.

She'd never want me again and she would not forgive me.

However, she fell asleep almost immediately and she'd cuddled up to me, her brilliant head of incredible curls on my lap.

I nearly fall asleep when her body starts to move and she starts making a sniffling sound and I realise she's crying.

I pull her up gently as I hug her and pat her back soothingly.

She starts sobbing as she says her siblings names over and over again and I realise that I can't lose her over three people who'd never love me as much as she had.

"Ana, wake up." I pat her back gently and she starts to wake up and she bursts into tears again when she sees me. "It's okay, I'm here this time and I'm not leaving you, ever again. Okay?"

She nods and she cries as I hug her tightly and she cries even more when her goes off and she receives a message from her mother. I can't see what it says but it has to be bad.

I put my hand out for her phone and she passes it and I read it.

This is heavy.

"Dear Indiana,

Please kill yourself! I don't want you to bring down the name of this family any longer. You are a disgrace and go against every single moral this family holds. It would do us all a massive favour if you ceases to exist and just leave this earth.

Ty,

Brittany."

I hug her so tightly and she cries even more as she thinks about the message after she looks at it again.

I put her phone down for her and she gets closer to me as she starts to calm down, I know she had meltdowns so I wanted to prevent that.

Wait. Meltdowns. She has meltdowns and she has had them since she was a child. Two of her siblings have autism and Carson and Fallon were being tested. She must've been autistic too.

That's why she was speaking at the Faraad convention, not because she wanted to actually talk about what it's like to have siblings with autism but her own experiences. She never ever wanted to confront her own fears so that must've been the reason.

The convention had been cancelled this year due to low numbers but I finally understood, properly why this was all so difficult for her.

I lead her to my room and she falls asleep again but this time, she looks a lot more peaceful.