flushed cheeks

(epilogue.)

"flushed cheeks"

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°°°

(epilogue.)

Graduation.

The word sent chills through me while warming me up all at the same time. I was proud–I had worked hard, studied hard, pushed myself to get to that point in my life. But I was also scared. I had been in school for my whole life–first preschool, elementary, middle school, high school, college immediately after graduation. I did not know what I wanted to do at this point, and I really needed to talk to someone about it.

I rolled around in my bed, the blankets irritatingly tangling with my legs as I patted around for my phone. Huffing, I sat up and haphazardly lifted my pillow to find it hidden there. I turned on the screen, grunting at how bright it was despite it being turned down all the way and night mode turned on. It was only 4:30. Neither Jill nor Lucas was likely to be awake yet, but I sent the message in the group chat, regardless.

Me:

Can we meet up this morning?

I really need help sorting stuff out

Really, really freaking out right now

After making sure the messages had been sent, I forced myself up and into the bathroom. I knew I would not be able to sleep any more than I had already forced. My head was too loud, my heart too fast. If I did not calm myself down, I would most likely spiral into an anxiety attack. So, I lost myself in the routine of getting ready for my day. I checked that my towel was on its hook, turned on the water, undressed, and stepped in. The water was still a little cool for my liking, but it would warm up in a moment.

I shampooed my hair, rinsed, conditioned, rinsed again, making sure to get as much of it out as possible. I forced my mind to stay there, present, as I washed my body with a body wash that reminded me of how my pillow smelled after Jill, Lucas, and I had cuddled in my bed one day. Musky and sweet and calming all in one. Just what I needed to get through the day without a breakdown.

Water off, I reached for my towel, dried off, and wrapped it around myself before stepping out into the foggy bathroom to brush my teeth. A few minutes later, I was stepping back into my bedroom to get dressed. I slipped into the outfit that I had picked out last night: a plaid skirt and a white collared blouse.

Ruffling my hair with the towel, I sat on my bed to check my phone. Barely half an hour had passed since I sent my texts, but there was already one waiting for me.

Jilly:

Okay, baby

I can start opening soon

Do you want to come help me?

We can talk while I set up the front

All the messages must have woken Lucas up, because he sent one while I was typing up my response.

Lukey:

I can come pick you up

It's too dark for you to walk by yourself

20 minutes, okay?

Warmth filled my chest, and I could not stop the grin spreading across my face. They really were the best, always so patient and supportive.