𝐴𝑢𝑟𝑜𝑟𝑎

Chapter 9 ~ PPD

A/N: I'm not sure if this chapter will a trigger to anyone but TW for mention of disorder 

Aurora

Ryder is now gone which leaves me and baby Laklyn alone. I think I'm going to use today to run some of my errands and I think having Laklyn there will be fun!

I forgot to ask Ryder for Laklyn's car seat but luckily, I have a "nephew" that is about the same age as Laklyn so I already have a carseat.

"You wanna go shopping baby!" I lift Laklyn into my arms and kiss his cheek. He starts to giggle as I place him on my bed to get ready. I have to give him a toy so that I can get ready faster.

Once I have my hair in a ponytail, I go to my closet and grab a pair of black leggings and a gray hoodie that says 'Reading is sexy' in my black vans.

I go back into my room and see Laklyn getting fussy from being left alone for a while. I lift him up and check his diaper before I grab our bags and head out the door.

I'm left juggling my bag, his diaper bag, and him.

I make my way to the car and unlock it by putting Laklyn in first and then placing our bags in the passenger side. Once he is all buckled in, I shut his door and go over to the driver doors and get in.

It takes no time to get to the local grocery store. It does in fact take me about five minutes to get everything in the cart.

Laklyn leans down to chew on the cart handle and I have to stop him constantly while trying to enter the store.

I make my way to the bread aisle and grab two lives making my way back to the cart. This goes on for a while. I grab pickles, my fridge items, and my frozen ones last.

I make my way to the cashier and start to load my stuff onto the counter. The woman gives me a smile and looks at Laklyn. "You have a beautiful baby." She compliments me.

"Oh, he's not mine, I'm just babysitting." I corrected her. I ignore the pain in my heart when I say that though. Why is there pain? I don't even know Laklyn. I don't even know his father that well. All I know is that his father works for my dad and my mom watches his baby.

"Oh, my mistake." She gives me another smile as we fall silent as she scans my things. Once everything is in a bag in my cart, I thank her and walk through the moving doors.

"Rory?" A voice I didn't think I would ever hear again calls out to me and I regret turning around. I see my ex- Miles, standing in front of me with a coffee and his grocery bag.

I don't smile at him, I can't smile at the man who made my disorder worse. I can't smile at the man who ruined my highschool life.

"Miles." I give him a nod, not a respectful one, but a nod. "How are you?" He starts walking towards me but I try to back away from him. I'm not sure if he catches it though because he keeps moving towards me.

"I'm fine, thank you." I look at Laklyn whose smile is long gone. I rub my thumb over his face and look back at Miles. His eyes on Laklyn.

"Is he yours?" He asks and I deadly consider saying yes. Saying yes to having a baby, means saying yes to being with another man. But my mind goes to Lakelands mother who I have yet to see.

"No, he's not, I'm just watching him." I say as a quiet whisper. He nods his head and we stand in silent silence for a minute.

The air between us begins to grow cold. "I should probably go." I say and he nods. "Do you think we could catch up sometime?" His sudden question makes me stop.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Miles." I walk away not giving him the option to speak up. Once I get to my car, I place Laklyn in the car seat before going to the trunk and unloading.

We get home in no time and I sit Laklyn on the couch while I put my groceries away. I prepare myself a lunch and Laklyn a bottle. I head over to the couch and hand him the bottle and help him prop it up before he gets the hang of holding it.

I munch on my sandwich and watch the kids show I have on. I turn to Laklyn who is sleeping. I smile and wipe his mouth with my napkin and take his bottle from him.

I clean up and sit on the couch to where I'm left with my thoughts.

I didn't ever think I would run into Miles ever again. He left me on highschool graduation, telling me he was going to go travel with his other girlfriend.

He knew that I had Paranoid Personality Disorder when he started dating me. He knew I had trust issues, and was scared of everything. He would come into my room at night when there was a sound I heard. I would text him all those times.

I opened up to him and trusted him with everything in me. He was the first man I trusted after my dad, brothers, Cole, and Maddox.

It was a big step for me. And when he told me that he had been seeing someone the entire time, in fact longer than we were together, the wall that built up was taller than before.

I didn't talk to anyone for a whole two months because he ruined a lot for me. He was my first and last boyfriend. I told myself that I wouldn't let another man in my life.

When I made eye contact with Ryder, that trust that I had for Miles, came fluttering to life and I found myself wanting to trust him, and I'm scared that my walls are going to break down and I'm going to get hurt again.

A/N 

I just wanted to say to anyone who is suffering from PPD, If you are reading this, I hope that I'm respectfully representing this disorder. I have self diagnosed myself with it a while ago but I have yet to make a doctors appointment to have an actually diagnoses. I just wanted to create a character that related a bit to me. 

But if any information is incorrect, feel free to correct me in anyway because I don't want to be disrespectful. 

Thank you and love you guys! JESUS LOVES YOU TOO!