Seventeen-year-old Hazel never saw having a sick mom in her future. And the last thing she expected was for her new next-door neighbor to give her a checklist that would change everything.
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After Hazel Winter's mom got sick, all emotion vanishe...
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"And who are you writing about today?"
River grips his arms tighter around my waist, his lips close to my ear as he finishes his sentence. I'm pressed against his chest as I lay between his legs, his back resting on the tree that overlooks the pond. Since the dock caved in, I've used this tree as my safe place that's right beside it, but honestly, River is doing far better than the tree. His warmth is comforting, his winter jacket against mine acting as my own personal heater.
"Don't you realize I'll never get anything done if you keep asking questions?" I tilt my head back all the way to glance at him upside down, and he places a kiss on my forehead when his eyes meet mine.
"I'm just curious. Not every day you get to be in the presence of the next J.K. Rowling."
"Oh my god." I roll my eyes, unable to help the laugh that slips out. "I'm not as good as her. The woman's imagination is uncanny, and her talent outweighs mine by far."
"But you could get there," he adds. "Once you go to college and take all those fancy writing classes."
River hasn't let up about this since I told him I wasn't considering college because of my mom. It's not that he doesn't understand, but he thinks I should do online classes, and he's not wrong. I know that he has a point, but for now, college seems overwhelming.
"You're never going to let up, are you?" I groan.
"Not a chance. You're so talented, Hazel. Even Mrs. Thompson says so."
"And? Mrs. Thompson isn't a credited author. She probably just thinks I write better than the average student, and that won't get me anywhere."
"But-"
"And why do you get to tell me what I'm supposed to do with my life when you haven't even told me what you want to do with yours? You're secretive about everything."
He knows I have a point, so he lets out a defeated sigh and shrinks back further against the tree. "I just think you're missing out on a huge opportunity. Even your mom says she wants you to go, so why don't you?"
"Because what if I'm not good at it?" I blurt out, all my fears tumbling out at once like complete word vomit. "What if I can't handle it? Now that my mom has to be on dialysis, I'll be at the hospital even more than normal. How am I supposed to keep up with that and school simultaneously? It'll be too much."
I don't know how he does it, but River always seems to find ways to calm me down. He brushes his fingers against my face, placing the tiny fly-away strands behind my ear before gently caressing my cheek. "I guess you'd have to ask yourself what would bother you more?" he asks quietly. "Going to college and flunking out, or regretting never trying?"
I contemplate his question for a moment, gazing off deep into thought at the now bare trees surrounding us. The creek isn't as beautiful in the winter, but the quietness of it is still relaxing. It's a good place to think about questions like these.
