The secret pact

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Maura's pov

I had to do something. Jane obviously didn't want me the way I did, but I just didn't want to lose our friendship over a stupid fight. I was still a bit mad at her but as days passed I realized I didn't want to hold any grudges against Jane becase we were friends after all. And I simply wanted her back. We had so little time left anyway that I simply wanted to enjoy the time we had left before going to college. I really wanted things go back to normal; the way they were before. I am the type of person who doesn't hold grudges for too long, and I couldn't put the blame entirely on Jane because in an argument both sides are equally guilty. So I needed to let it go and forgive her even though Jane didn't ask me for forgiveness, nor did she apologize. But I couldn't put the blame on Jane and all I wanted was to make amends with her.

I simply wanted my best friend back but I knew everything had changed. Just one memorable morning turned into something more. And just a few days ago I thought it was the best morning I had ever spent. I truly hoped that applied to Jane too. But apparently I was wrong. She told me the harsh truth in my face, and even though she was angry at me at that time, I believed she meant what she said. Jane didn't see things the way I did. Jane simply did what I asked for – I couldn't blame her for her honesty. It would be silly of me to put the blame on her when she hadn't done anything wrong by telling me the truth.

Sometimes things just happen. For no reason. You think you know a person too well since you know them since kindergarten, and you can always imagine how they would react to something, what they would say exactly, what they would think; you start seeing a certain pattern in their behavior, they become somewhat predictable for you, but sometimes it turns out that you thought wrong. Unpredictable things happen all the time. Sometimes people disappoint you. It's inevitable. To say I was disappointed with Jane would be understatement, but even though I was upset with her, I didn't hold any grudges against her. I didn't want to lose her friendship. It hurt me to know that she had sex with me just because I asked her, but I was the one who wanted to know the truth after all. And just because I hated the answer, didn't mean it was Jane's fault.

I really had no idea why I expected something else. Perhaps it was just wishful thinking. But I just wanted to get my best friend back. Even if it meant to swallow my feelings and hide them from her. I wanted back the old Jane and our strong friendship that could overcome everything. I hoped it was strong enough to last for a very long time. We were BFFs - best friends forever. Forever! And I wouldn't let go.