The secret pact

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Jane's pov

Was Maura wondering whether I heard her confession or not? Or perhaps she thought I didn't hear her so that's why she didn't do anything about it. But maybe she would have repeated her love confession if she thought that I hadn't heard her so... I didn't know for sure.

The truth is I have never expected to hear Maura say those words at that moment. Not when I was so angry at her because of her deed. She made her mother use her connections in order to get me to Cambridge which first, wasn't even fair, and second, it was wrong and unnecessary. I've never asked for it. And plus, it was so out of the blue that I just didn't know what to do when I heard her love confession; she simply caught me off guards.

After I heard her confession I acted like a total coward but I had my reasons. I left and didn't say anything because I was both scared and confused. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. And I couldn't process her words right away. I didn't even know what she meant by saying those words. Maybe she meant she loves me like a friend and not the way I expected. I wasn't even sure and I still couldn't understand her intentions. I had no idea about the true meaning of her confession. But I was dying to find out.

I needed to make Maura say it again. I had to make sure she meant what she said. I desperately wanted to know the truth. But if Maura ever found out that I have heard her love confession and I just left without saying anything, she wouldn't speak to me ever again. So I needed to act clueless, like I didn't know anything; like I had never heard her say those three words.

I didn't go back to Maura right away because I needed a whole day to think things through before I face her. But the very next day I went to see her. The plan I made in my head the previous day was to get her to confess again. I just needed to know the truth. But I wasn't going to ask her straightforwardly - I simply couldn't do that. Otherwise she would know that I heard her and she would think I left on purpose. She would take it really bad, if she knew the truth that I ran away like a total coward on purpose. So I had to pretend I hadn't heard her confession.

I rang the doorbell and Maura let me in, welcoming me.

"Hey, Jane."

Her greeting was warm but somehow drawn. And she looked nervous. But I was feeling even worse than her because I had to apologize for my behavior and I was jittery about it. I didn't react properly when I heard what she had done for me and I felt really bad for not treating her the right way. I knew she only meant well when she asked her mother for such a favor.

"Maura, I am sorry about yesterday." I started apologizing immediately. "I just..."

"Oh, don't be." Maura waved her hand so dismissively like she couldn't care less about it. We sat on the couch, continuing our conversation.

"I overreacted and I am really sorry." I apologized once again, being completely honest because I really felt terrible. "But I don't understand why would you do that for me?"

"Because we are friends. And I don't want to lose you."

Maura took my hands in hers tenderly, looking at me so deeply, like she was trying to read me. There was so much love in her eyes, but I still couldn't be sure what she meant with her words the other day. Perhaps she meant she cares about me and she loves me like a friend. And nothing more.

"Because of our friendship..." I asked, "or... there's something more?"

I was hoping that she would say something. I was giving her a chance to say it again, hoping she would be brave enough to do so. I had to hear it from her face to face. I needed to know the truth. If she repeated her confession then I would be certain about her true feelings. If Maura really felt that way, she had to say it again.