||Wattys 2022 Shortlist||
Kian Advani was a closeted queer in his high school. Always in denial of his true feelings and emotions. So much so that he did everything to blend in with the rest of the straight crowd. But that didn't mean he wasn't att...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Kian stayed tongue-tied at the doorway. His eyes didn't stray from Enzo even for a second.
He licked his lips and slowed down his breathing, at least trying to ease out his desperation in front of the girl who now seemed slightly confused. Enzo was staring at him, his gaze impenetrable. On top of that dark, unreadable look on his face - he was sweaty, his chest heaving, and the bottle of water in his fist slightly crushed.
Kian knew he shouldn't be there with Enzo backstage. It was asking for trouble in a loop. Although he wanted to confront Enzo for all his fuck ups, watching him sing that song on stage and now looking at him with such raw emotions was almost too much for Kian. On top of that, the new revelation about having deeper feelings for your childhood best friend, who was also off-limits, was a big no-no to be around him.
So why was he still there? No voice inside his head answered.
Enzo had looked so broken and sad, his voice creating a painful ripple of grief and longing in his heart. The unsaid emotions in Enzo's eyes as he poured them into his music were one of the soul-deep hidden feelings, hurt, and love. He wondered who would have made his heart bleed like that. And Kian was a sucker for troubled, hurting souls. Maybe, he saw his darkness reflected on Kian's soul, or it was on instinct. After all, Kian had always been there when Enzo needed him.
That hadn't changed even though they were separated for the last two years. Old habits never leave.
Enzo seemed to remember it too. His midnight eyes were so dark with emotions that it almost made Kian turn around and leave the room, But he stayed even as Enzo's eyes narrowed and seemed to be struggling to understand what they were supposed to do next.
"Leave us, Jamie," Enzo's hand flew to her wrist as the girl beside him tried to resume her work. His eyes were still on Kian.
"But you're not okay," Jamie attempted to hold his face, prompting Enzo to break his eye contact with Kian and glare at the girl instead.
"I'm okay. Now leave." Kian gritted out.
With an annoyed gaze directed at Kian, the girl walked past him, intentionally bumping against his shoulder. Kian dared not to follow her. A voice inside his head became active, asking him to leave. But Enzo was hurting. He saw through his efforts. He had no idea if it was because of his presence in the room or whatever emotions Enzo unleashed on the stage, but he knew he couldn't just walk away and leave Enzo to hurt alone.
"Do you want me to leave?" Kian asked, not sure what else to say. "I just...I guess you would rather be alone right now."
Shit. Kian smacked his head. Faced with Enzo, alone in a room, with him looking broken and soul-crushed, Kian found himself tongue-tied and fumbling for proper responses. On top of that, the need to hug the boy had his heart hammering to another level.
Enzo swigged his water before placing the bottle against his forehead. "Yeah, I should rather be alone, Kiki."
He sounded so vulnerable that Kian's hand tightened around the corner of the door he had been holding all that while. "Are you okay, Enz?"
