permanent price ✷ alex karev

003. sullen girl

"sullen girl"
by fiona apple

" days like this, i don't know what to do with myself
all day, and all night i wander the halls along the walls
and under my breath, i say to myself "i need fuel to take flight"
and there's too much going on
but it's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
...
is that why they call me a sullen girl, sullen girl?
they don't know i used to sail the deep and tranquil seas
but he washed me ashore and he took my pearl
and left an empty shell of me "

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"the first cut is the deepest"
season 1, episode 2

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"why do you put up posters for roommates if you don't want roommates?" izzie asked meredith.

"i do want roommates. we're together 100 hours a week. you want to live together, too?" she asked.

"i just need to somewhere to live, i don't care where. i'm still living in my hotel. i'm a great roommate, me and my freshman dorm mate lived together all throughout college and med school because i'm just that great." eleanor told her.

"fine. eleanor can move in, but that's only because she doesn't have a home... and because she's like... perfect." meredith sighed.

"yes!" eleanor smiled. "i gotta go, but meredith — thank you." she said smiling at her new roommate.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"are you the surgeons?" someone asked eleanor and meredith.

"yeah." meredith answered.

"we've got a rape victim." the woman told her. "better get in there." eleanor froze at the words. the words that were used so casually. she walked into the room trying to hold her composure. it was her job. this was her job, she needed to remain calm. she needed to do her job.

"25-year-old female found down at the park. status — post trauma. she came in with a gcs of six. b.p. — 80 over 60. exam is significant for blunt head trauma. unequal breath sounds, right pupil is dilated, and she's ready for x-ray. ready to roll?" they explained to meredith and eleanor. meredith was staring at the shoes of the victim, and eleanor was just fully out of it. "hey!" they called out again.

"yeah." meredith said beginning to exam the patient. "call ahead to clear a c.t. let them know we're coming. load up the portable monitor. call respiratory for a ventilator. i'll get x-rays while i'm down there." meredith ordered.

"i- uh- i- do you have this?" eleanor asked shakily. "i- uh, i gotta go." she said walking out of the room.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"she's gonna spend a hell of a long time in recovery and rehab." derek said as he operated.

"if she survives." burke countered.

"what is she, like 5'2", 100 pounds? she's still breathing after what this guy did to her? if they catch the guy, they should castrate him." derek said. he said it as if she wasn't 2 inches taller and 5 pounds heavier. he said it as if she hadn't had to keep breathing after what that guy did to her. as if he shouldn't have been castrated, or at least faced any sort of consequences at all.