permanent price ✷ alex karev

032. heavy

"heavy"
the marías

" i'm heavy, i'm by your side
forget me 'cause i know what i need
like a loser like me could be fine
i'm heavy, alone inside
don't tell me what i want, what i need
like a loser like me will be fine
maybe i'm living in my head
maybe i'm living to pretend
maybe i wanna stay in bed
far from the weight of the world
in my hands, 'cause they don't understand
is someone telling me "don't get it the water"
what have i done?
i don't wanna get lost inside the color
under my tongue
'cause i don't want to be in love with another
even in another life
can someone tell me it's alright to be covered
underneath the covers?
but i, no, i don't need to sleep anymore
is someone banging at my door
when i just wanna be alone?
is someone banging at my door?
je ne said pas qui est ici "

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

season 3, episode 17
some kind of miracle

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

fear.

it's a heavy thing.

it weighs down on your chest. it makes it hard to breathe--hard to think.

it's heavy.

it weighed down meredith when she drifted down into that water.

it weighed down eleanor with every step she took.

now

now it was weighing down everyone else.

it was weighing down the interns--those were their friends.

it was weighing down alex and derek--those were their lovers.

it was weighing down bailey and webber--those were their students, their children.

it was weighing down derek, mark, and addison--that was their little sister, blood or not.

fear was weighing them down.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

two rooms separated by a hallway. in one, a girl on what could have been her deathbed. in the other, a girl on what could have been her deathbed. between them stood the people who loved them. waiting. just waiting.

burke exited eleanor's room, met first by addison, derek, and mark. the interns were behind another door. he didn't have to face them all at once.

"what do you know? have you determined a cause?" derek questioned frantically. nobody could blame him, it was his sister and his girlfriend. he was barely holding it together, but still, he was doing it, barely or not.

after running more tests, burke determined that bailey was right. only a psych consult would confirm their suspicions on why she was malnourished, but it certainly was the cause of the damage to her heart.