permanent price ✷ alex karev

035. fuzzybrain

"fuzzybrain"
by dayglow

" pretty please
where do i begin?
oh, i don't understand it either
and i don't think i can
fuzzybrain call it what you want
i've felt so distant lately as if i were not
there's rain outside, steady winter
my heart feels like such a mixture
shapeless, i stare at her picture
i don't know her, but i miss her
why, oh why such things?
write it down absent of a pen
the sun has been set for hours and she's rising again
scattered mind, i call it a friend
i wish i thought a bit less and spoke up instead
in my head
there's rain inside my skeleton frame
a hurricane within my rib cage
i never left but i never stayed
i'm cleaning out the fuzz in my brain
time and time again "

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

season 3, episode 21
desire

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

eleanor was finally beginning to achieve a sense of normalcy. the stares were starting to subside and the whispers were finally quiet enough that she actually couldn't hear them. but more importantly, she was starting to feel like herself again.

she could tell that the people close to her were still worried about her, despite how much they tried to hide it.

and in a way, they were right to.

eleanor was trying, she really was, but it was undeniable that things were still hard, they were better, but they were still hard.

but even though things were difficult sometimes, this time she had life on her side. she had people looking out for her and terrible things weren't happening. not that she knew of, at least.

she was doing normal things like kissing her boyfriend and studying for the intern exam--not trying to stop shaking during surgery and not being able to fall asleep at night.

things were normal... good, even.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

eleanor sat close next to alex on cristina's couch. they were all gathered there to study for the intern exam. that's really all they had been doing lately. if they weren't working or sleeping--they were studying.

they were all taking turns in the hot seat and quizzing each other. meanwhile, burke was just trying to get cristina to taste one of the wedding cakes.

eleanor still couldn't believe cristina was getting married. i mean, it was cristina? she was already married, and it wasn't to a living, breathing, person--it was to surgery.

but it wasn't really eleanor's business. if cristina was happy, than eleanor was happy for her, and that was that.

"out of the seat! it's my turn." cristina said.

"no, it's my turn." izzie retorted, scrambling over to the chair.

"no, it's not!"

"try this one. white sponge with vanilla buttercream." burke said to her, attempting to feed cristina a piece of the cake.

"okay, i'm trying to study for the most important test of my intern career. i don't have time for wedding cake."

"okay, cristina, first of all, it's the only test of your intern career. second of all, it's cake just eat it." eleanor rolled her eyes.