Tales From A Teenage Henchman

Questionable Life Choices

As Tim Mitchell raced out of the bank with a bag full of cash, he thought about a particular piece of advice he wished he'd followed—stay in school. But hindsight was 20/20, and he had more important things to worry about at the moment, so it was little more than a passing thought. Most of his attention was focused on reaching the getaway vehicle with his fellow henchmen.

Carl, a large man with dirty blond hair hidden beneath his cap, reached the van first. Tim entered next with Vic—a lanky twenty-something guy with enough freckles to almost look tanned—bringing up the rear.

They were still missing two of their colleagues.

"Where're Benny and Alex?" Alejandro, the driver of the van said as he watched three of his fellow henchmen pile into the car.

"They fell behind, but I'm sure they'd say to go on without them," Carl said.

"It's what they would have wanted," Vic agreed, knowing full well it was not what they would have wanted. Still, Tim wasn't about to disagree because he didn't want to end up in prison. Tim tried to feel guilty but honestly, he was a bad guy for a reason. Well, two reasons.

Mostly because he was a high school dropout with no real skills and villainy paid better than flipping burger patties. Also, he was a dick. Tim could own up to that much.

"You guys are full of shit," Alejandro said with a roll of his eyes, but he started driving away all the same.

And then he almost ran over their two supposedly fallen comrades.

Both looked worse for wear and Benny was actually limping as Alex dragged him to the van. Both were also glaring at their supposed colleagues as they opened the doors to get in.

"You assholes were gonna leave us behind?" Under different circumstances, Alex might have kicked them all in the shins, seeing as he was too short to actually punch them in the face.

"I was just telling them we should wait up for you," Vic said, and Tim wondered if he actually thought anyone would believe him.

"You're full of shit," Alex said flatly, shutting the door.

"That's what I told him," Alejandro muttered as he finally drove away, seeming too relaxed for someone driving a getaway vehicle after robbing a bank. Granted, he had been doing it for ages.

Still, a sense of urgency would've been appreciated.

"Well, at least you got the loot right?" Vic attempted to change the subject in a not so subtle way.

All five of the men sitting in the back looked around in search of said loot. Tim wasn't surprised to see only his bag sitting on the floor of the van, all on its lonesome. They'd forgotten the loot.

"Do you guys think Penny will ever replace us with more competent minions?" Tim wondered aloud.

"I sure hope not. My retirement plan will be ruined if I have to switch jobs," Benny said, honestly sounding concerned. Tim took a moment to wonder what their lives had become.

If given another chance, Tim would have liked to go to school, get a career, maybe get married if his crippling student debt allowed it. But life had a way of kicking you in the balls and then laughing in your face while it took pictures to immortalize your misery by posting them online—and no, Tim wasn't speaking from experience. So, Tim had ended up as a high school dropout who'd run away from home and fell in with the wrong crowd. Granted, he didn't think he'd done that badly.

And at least he still wrote home to let his poor mother know he wasn't dead, because he wasn't heartless. Most of the time.

Still, Tim had to admit, as far as leading a life of crime went, he was doing pretty well. Mostly because he'd run into a decent enough villain who'd agreed to take him in. Probably out of desperation. Tim would take what he could get.