Tales From A Teenage Henchman

No Rest For The Wicked

Against all odds, they had yet to murder Penny.

This was probably because she'd given up on the healthy meals thing. Apparently, they could put up with physical activity as long as they got real food. It also helped that, after the first week, they no longer felt like they were dying every time they went on a run.

Tim still felt like crap, but that was mostly because he still had to go out at night and pretend to be a hero every once in a while. Apparently, while Penny was all for compromising the same could not be said of Lina.

In other words, Lina was evil.

This wasn't news to Tim, but it still kind of sucked. Especially because he'd been running into Sparrow more often. At least, Tim thought, their encounters had been more or less helpful to him.

Sparrow was every bit as nice as people seemed to think, which Tim supposed was cool. He'd never been much into heroes for obvious reasons, but he could appreciate the way Sparrow had managed to stay humble despite her growing fame. She seemed to think it was her duty as an older, more experienced hero, to guide the newbies. Tim just happened to be a newbie—or at least, he happened to be pretending to be a newbie.

Either way, Sparrow took it upon herself to make sure Tim didn't get killed.

At least Lina's whole plan to bond with the enemy seemed to be working. As an added bonus, Tim didn't even have to sabotage Sparrow thanks to Penny putting their scheduled crimes on hold in order to train. For once, it seemed like things were working out.

"You know, you've been doing really well," Sparrow said as Tim helped her tie up a couple of bank robbers they'd successfully captured. Tim thought he might know one of the guys. He felt a bit guilty about getting him arrested until he remembered the guy was kind of a dick even for a criminal.

"You really think so?" Tim asked, subtly giving the guy an extra kick. "I mean, most of the time I don't really know what I'm doing." That was about the most honest thing Tim had ever told Sparrow.

"Yeah, everyone's like that at the start," she said with a shrug, standing after finishing up with her robber and running a gloved hand through her short, light brown hair. "I remember the first night I came out here. There were some guys trying to mug a couple of college girls and I managed to chase them away but then I slipped on a plastic bag and let them get away." Tim couldn't help but snort at that. Honestly, it sounded like something that would happen to him instead of to a hero like Sparrow.

"Then there was the time I got lost and didn't make it home until dawn. I got the weirdest looks too from people heading to work," Sparrow went on without a hint of shame. In a way, it was kind of nice to know even someone like her could be incompetent sometimes.

"Not gonna lie, your failures make me feel better," Tim said, following her away from the scene of the attempted crime. Sirens blared in the background, coming closer with each second. Tim had learned soon enough that, while Sparrow didn't mind the occasional impromptu interview, she preferred to be out of the spotlight.

"Glad to know I can be an inspiration to you," Sparrow said, doing her best to sound insulted, though there was the faintest of smiles on her face.

They watched from the top of a nearby apartment building as the robbers were apprehended, then headed over to a nearby diner that was open all night. Sparrow had let Tim in on a little-known secret of the hero community—they got free food from certain places. It made Tim wonder if maybe he'd really made the wrong career choice after all because free food seemed like a hell of a deal. Especially when it was free diner food. The greasy goodness they served could not be denied.